


It Happened Slowly

by mollieblack



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Falling In Love, First Meetings, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Healthy Relationships, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Realistic, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-04-30 07:33:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 34,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14491959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollieblack/pseuds/mollieblack
Summary: Dan is a new student at University, and his biggest fear is not getting along with the person he's going to have to share a room with.Luckily, his roommate ends up winning him over in more ways than one, and a strange but intriguing next door neighbor draws Dan in.





	1. Chapter 1

Nothing scared me more about the first day of university than meeting the person I’d be living with for the next year of my life.

 

I pushed open the door, dragging the rolling crate carrying my belongings behind me, and he looked up from his phone atop his bed. So he was already here. I plastered on a smile even though I was exhausted from the day of moving, giving him a friendly nod before hauling the suitcases, bags, and boxes out of the crate and pushing it back in the hall for someone else to snatch up. 

 

“Hey.” I huffed as I picked up one of the larger suitcases, bringing it to the bare mattress and opening it to reveal bedding that I began to wrap around the mattress - the first step towards making this dorm room resemble something of a home. 

 

“What’s up?” He asked, his voice the pique of disinterest. 

 

“Just hoping to get settled in today. My name’s Dan.” I sent over another smile, but he was still nose-deep in his phone. 

 

“Orion.”

 

“Well, Orion, nice to meet you. Did you get here yesterday or something?” I asked, because his side of the room already looked entirely set up. 

 

“Yeah. Hope you don’t mind I took the side with the window.”

 

“Nope. It’s all yours.” I smiled, shoving a pillow into its case and tossing it up onto my bed. “So do you know what you want to major in?”

 

“Business, I think. You?”

 

“Undecided I suppose. Half of me wants to major in something like music or theatre, but the other part of me knows it’s not the best way to make money and I should probably just go with something like law. We’ll see, I suppose.”

 

“Yup.” He shrugged, his tone void of emotion. I looked over to see his brow creased in a small frown as he looked at his phone, and I decided to leave it at that. If he wanted to talk more, I’d let him make that choice. I took one more moment to look at him and observe the person I’d be living with this coming year. He had short but wavy hair - a deep red that verged on brown but was a bit too rusty to compare to mine. He had pale green eyes that were almost entirely covered by his long and dark lashes as he looked down at his phone. Freckles dotted over his nose and cheeks, but they were dark to match his eyebrows. His lips were a pale pink and they were full as he scrunched them into a frown. I looked away after a moment, returning to unpacking. 

 

The next twenty minutes or so were spent in silence, and by then I was nearly entirely unpacked. I hadn’t brought much, mostly just clothes, a few snacks for the room, and my computer. I grabbed my laptop and tossed it on the bed, following behind and opening it up. I plugged it into a nearby outlet and was about to plug my headphones in when Orion sighed and put his phone down, actually looking up at me for once. 

 

“Hey, sorry. Long day, drama back home. Do you want to head down to the dining hall and get some food?”

 

“Oh… yeah, sure!” I agreed, smiling over at my roommate who now seemed to be much more sociable. “What’s going on back at home… if you don’t mind my asking.”

 

“Nah, it’s fine.” Orion shrugged as he picked up a few things, myself following as we got ready to leave. “Just an ex - we agreed that with me going to college it wouldn’t work and we needed to break up, but now they’re saying they want to try to make it work.”

 

“Oof, that’s a hard one.” I gave a small sympathetic smile as I pulled a jacket over my jumper. “Do you think you’re gonna try to make it work?”

 

“Nah… I live a few hours away… it just wouldn’t work. It sucks… It’s not like we had some huge break up fight. I still love…. But no. No, we need to break up. It’s gonna happen eventually anyways, it’s better to do it now - cleaner.”

 

“Yeah… I’m sorry, though. That’s rough.” 

 

“It’s alright. Part of life.” He shrugged, opening the door, and I followed behind him. 

 

We walked down to the dining hall and chatted - I was relieved, the conversation flowed smoothly, and that wasn’t something that was common to me. I was usually very awkward around strangers, but for some reason it just wasn’t difficult to talk to him, and I found myself laughing harder than I had in a while as he told me stories about his time in highschool. He’d apparently been quite popular, though he’d never done much to try and work for it. I wasn’t surprised - he was certainly an attractive guy, and it didn’t surprise me that someone like him would attract people to them. I had less stories but still was able to make him laugh now and then with my awkward tales. 

 

Soon we were headed back with plates of our food, deciding neither of us felt up to the social crawl that was the dining hall, everyone trying to meet one another and size each other up. Instead we retreated and my eyes opened wide as he pulled out a box from under his bed, revealing a flat screen TV. 

 

“I wanted to save this until you were here so we could choose together where to put it. I’ve got  a playstation too.”

 

I’m pretty sure I squeaked at this, eyes gone wide and a smile plastered from ear to ear. “You have no idea how much better this year just got!” I exclaimed, and I could  _ feel  _ the twinkling in my eyes. 

 

We quickly chose a spot and mounted the TV, hooking up the playstation, and proceeded to eat our food as we watched TV on Netflix. It was easy, and I was already shaken at how quickly we managed to get along. He’d been so aloof for the first twenty minutes I’d been worried we wouldn’t get along, but if it continued the way it was going, this was looking great. After we finished our food he pulled out Mario Kart, earning another squeal from me. We played late into the night, and when we noticed it was past 2am neither of us knew how it’d gotten there. We giggled as we climbed into our beds and shut off the lights, and I sighed deeply, realizing this was my new life. 

 

“Night, Orion.” 

 

“Night, Dan.”

 

“Hey… let’s make this year great… okay?”

 

“Sounds better than a boring year.” He replied and I smiled, turning over and burying my face in my pillow, allowing my breathing to slow. It would be a good year. It was a first good day, I just had to keep that going.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAY too long without uploading she comes back with two chapters....

The second day, Orion and I went to the dining hall for a late breakfast and actually decided to participate in some of the ‘meet and greet’ activities. We went to a large empty room that we found in a program for this orientation weekend, and ended up in a large circle of about thirty students, stating our names, where we’re from, and a fun fact about ourselves. It was cheesy and ridiculous, but I learned that Orion was an artist, so that was kind of cool. 

 

Eventually we were told to find a partner we didn’t know, and we went through exercises, trying to guess things about each other and telling stories, switching partners about every three minutes. I ended up meeting a blonde girl who played tennis in high school and  _ loved  _ One Direction, a blonde boy who was the quarterback on his highschool’s ‘football’ team in America. I met a red haired girl who was a little timid, shyly admitting that singing was her talent.

 

“What’s your favorite song to sing?”

 

“I dreamed a dream from Les Miserables.” She smiled, eyes kept mostly on the floor but flicking up to meet my own every now and again. “I’m thinking of auditioning for the fall musical here, but I doubt they let freshmen in.”

 

“You should try anyway! Who knows, even if you don’t get in, maybe you can get involved in another way.” I suggested with a smile and she nodded, grinning back before we were told to switch. 

 

I met a boy with mousy brown hair gelled into a perfect quiff. It looked like no winds could blow a strand out of place, it was so rigid. He had wide blue eyes and at first we didn’t seem to know what to talk about. When we were given the subject of pets, though, and I mentioned my old hamster, his eyes lit up and he began chattering excitedly about how he used to have loads of hamsters - he even bred them. He had a thick Northern accent and it got stronger when he got excited, words mushing together in his speed. He seemed to notice this, though, and cleared his throat, a small blush coming to his cheeks. 

 

“Sorry. I got a little overexcited.”

 

“It’s alright. I think the point of us is to share our interests.”

 

“Yeah, but when I get excited I talk too fast. It’s not proper.” 

 

I frowned listening to him - it didn’t sound like his own thought, rather one that’d been told to him. However just then the leader of the group told us to switch again, and I moved on to find another partner. 

 

This went on for a long time and finally it was over, leaving Orion and I to exhaustedly stumble and grab a snack from the dining hall before retreating to our room. 

 

“Well that was… exactly what I’d expected, actually. About half hell, half fun.”

 

“Right?” I laughed, nodding in agreement as I plopped down on my bed, tossing a crisp in my mouth. “Those things are always like… so cheesy, and you  _ know  _ none of the people you meet in the first week or so will end up being your real friends… but still, it’s nice to get out and feel like you’re not so alone.”

 

“Yeah… I’m glad we went, but now I’m about done. ‘Till tonight, at least. I heard there’s a movie night in the rec center and there’ll be free food.”

 

“Free food? Sign me up!” I agreed and we both chuckled, allowing a comfortable silence to fill the room. 

 

I pulled my laptop over and pulled up a show, laying back and shutting my eyes as I let the show just play as background noise. Orion seemed to be taking a nap so I tried to be quiet as I finished my crisps and then turned to my side, allowing sleep to take over as the show played in the background. 

 

When I woke up, I needed to pee. I got up immediately and tried to be quiet so as not to wake Orion, tip-toeing towards our bathroom. It was a dorm building and space was minimal, so we had to share a bathroom with our next door neighbors. I decided to knock to make sure they weren’t in there in case someone had forgotten to lock our side of the door. When no one answered I opened the door and went to their door locking it immediately, locking ours, and then doing my business. 

 

When I had washed my hands I went to their door and unlocked it so they could get in after me. Just as I let go of the knob the door opened towards me and I jumped back, eyes wide. In front of me stood the boy from the meet and greet with the perfectly gelled hair up in a quiff, eyes equally wide as his mouth formed an ‘o’ of surprise. 

 

“Ha, sorry, weird timing.” I chuckled after a moment of silence and he relaxed, laughing too. 

 

“Yeah. Sorry to scare you. Hey, I guess we’re neighbors!” 

 

“Yeah, looks like it. How’s the whole move-in thing going for you? Do you get along with your roommate?”

 

“Oh… I actually have a single.”

 

“Ooh, fancy! That must be nice, having the whole room all to yourself.”

 

“Yeah… I guess.” He shrugged, and something behind his eyes looked… sad? Uncomfortable? Worried? I couldn’t quite place it, but just then he cleared his throat and looked up at me expectantly.

 

“Huh?” I asked, and he cleared his throat again, neck flushing a bit. 

 

“Oh uh… well I was coming in here to uh…”

 

“Right! Sorry! I’ll get out of your way.”

 

“Thanks.” He gave a small smile and I left the bathroom back out my door, going to the sink in our room and washing my hands before returning to my bed and dicking around on my phone for a while. 

 

Eventually Orion woke up and we ended up just talking as he scribbled in a sketchpad for a while. 

 

“What are you drawing?” I asked after a while and Orion looked up and smiled, shrugging before lifting the sketchbook and turning it around so I could see the rough outline of a face with curly short hair. 

 

“You.” He answered and I felt my face immediately heat up, surprised by the admission. “Sorry if that’s weird. I like to draw people and I usually just make them up, but lately I’ve been trying to learn how to draw actual people, so when I’m with someone and I have my sketchbook I’ll tend to just try and draw out a sketch of them and see how much I can make it look like them.”

 

“Oh… right, yeah. No it’s alright… just surprised me. Uh, do you want me to like… pose? Or hold still at least?”

 

“No.” Orion chuckled, shaking his head with a smile that made his cheeks crinkle up and his eyes squint. “You’re fine - it’s part of the challenge - drawing people who you just see in every day life, but you have to capture them in a single moment with no constant reference.”

 

“Oh… yeah, okay.” I agreed, but suddenly I was hyper-aware of the glances Orion would flick up at me from his sketchbook, and of how my face was angled or how often I was moving. 

 

“You can relax, you know. And I can stop drawing you if you want. Sorry, I’m usually good about asking first, I guess I just forgot.”

 

“No, I don’t mind.”

 

“Okay.” Orion smiled, and I smiled back, feeling a small shiver run up my spine as I felt myself be observed for a while. We continued to talk, telling stories and sharing opinions. Orion was really cool. More and more, I was becoming grateful that he was my roommate. 


	3. Chapter 3

It wasn’t until about an hour after I’d learned the subject of Orion’s drawing was  _ me _ that I revisited the bathroom that I realized we’d need to get toilet paper. The school started us out with one roll, but we had to buy our own. Realizing we shared a bathroom, I decided to knock on the door and talk to our neighbor to see how we were going to set up the toilet paper situation. 

 

After two knocks he opened the door and I smiled at him, trying to relax the energy in the air. Something about him always just felt… uncomfortable. Tense. I didn’t know what it was, but it made me feel anxious being around him. 

 

“Hey, so I was gonna run out and get some toilet paper. Do you want to like… share toilet paper the three of us, or should we just buy our own and keep them separate?”

 

“Oh uh… probably keep them separate, it’ll be easier to keep track of.”

 

“Okay!” I agreed, turning to leave, but he stopped me before I opened our door to the bathroom. 

 

“Uh… wait… Um… could I come with you? I need to get some too.”

 

“Yeah, sure, of course.” I agreed, a smile still on my face, though I felt a bit of a sinking feeling in my chest. This guy was strange - he seemed extremely socially awkward and just generally tightly-wound, and anxiety began bubbling in my chest but I took a deep breath, calming it. He didn’t have a roommate and probably didn’t have any friends here. It wouldn’t be the end of the world to let him come get some toilet paper. “Here, come with me to my room and we can see if my roommate wants to join.”

 

“Sure.” He agreed, following behind as we entered my room. 

 

“Hey Orion - do you want to come on this toilet paper run with- um… wait actually I don’t know your name yet!” I turned my attention to the boy beside me and his eyes widened a little, seemingly as surprised as me that we hadn’t exchanged such basic information yet. 

 

“Phil. I’m your neighbor, I’m gonna come along if that’s alright with you?” Phil asked and Orion shrugged, holding up his sketchpad. 

 

“I think I’ll pass this time - you two have fun! And my name’s Orion, Phil.”

 

“Pleasure to meet you, Orion.”

 

“Uh, yeah.” Orion chuckled, seemingly as surprised as me at Phil’s formality. 

 

I opened the door for Phil who walked through a bit stiffly, me following behind. 

 

“So I’m Dan - sorry I forgot to mention that before.”

 

“Oh, that’s alright.” Phil responded, and suddenly we were just walking in silence, the air between us growing more and more awkward every second. 

 

“So uh… do you know what you’re gonna major in?”

 

“I don’t know. I think I want to major in film, but my parents want me to find a steadier job. I’ll probably end up being a real estate agent or something.”

 

“Do you like houses?”

 

“No.” His response was so immediate I couldn’t help but burst out laughing, causing him to raise an eyebrow in my direction. 

 

“Sorry! Just… if you don’t like houses, why on earth would you go into real estate?”

 

“I don’t know… it’s what my uh… my parents want me to do? They tried to convince me to go for law or med school or something, but I’m way too clumsy to be a doctor, and I’m way too non-confrontational to be a lawyer. But yeah… what are you thinking of majoring in?”

 

“I don’t know… I’ve thought about theatre or music, but I’ll probably end up in something like law.”

 

“Do you like law?”

 

“Hell no! Do I like to argue? Yes. Do I like the idea of rules being put around my arguing and having to be a lawyer? Not in the slightest.”

 

“Well then why would you do it?”

 

“Stability. My parents have always wanted me to, I guess.”

 

“So how’s that different from me going into real estate?”

 

“I guess it’s not.” I admitted, frowning as I thought that over. My consideration of law seemed entirely reasonable to me, but when I heard Phil explain his reasoning behind real estate it sounded ridiculous. However, they were really the same, weren’t they? This left me thinking for a while as we walked, and he kept pace with me, seemingly content with the silence. 

 

“So where are you from, Phil?” I asked finally and he shrugged, still looking forward. 

 

“A small town up North.”

 

“I thought so.”

 

“The accent?”

 

“Yup.” I agreed and looked over to see his lips quirk upward just slightly. 

 

“How about you?”

 

“The South.”

 

“I thought so.”

 

“The accent?”

 

“You got me!” He chuckled and I laughed too, shaking my head as we walked. 

 

“So what’s it like up North?”

 

“Oh, it’s alright. I did well in school, got good grades. I have a girlfriend up there.”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Long distance isn’t easy, I’m sure moving away’s been rough.”

 

“Yeah, I guess. Thanks.” Phil gave a small smile, but didn’t look up to meet my eye. 

 

Soon we were at the store and buying toilet paper and a few other essentials we found and realized we didn’t have for our rooms. Soon we were just milling each aisle, looking for anything that popped out. Ten minutes later found us walking back, both with full bags in our arms. 

 

Conversation slowly became a bit easier, but Phil was still strange. He didn’t seem to quite understand how to hold a conversation, so a lot of the time I’d have to be the one to continue prompting topics to talk about. He was nice enough, though, and soon we were back and saying a quick goodbye before we returned to our separate rooms. 

 

“I’m back! Missed me?” I asked as I walked through the door. Orion looked up from his sketchbook and grinned - he hadn’t moved since I left but now he got up and helped me put things away as I began to unpack the bag. 

 

“Oh, it’s been torturous without you, how could I survive?” Orion gasped dramatically and I chuckled, rolling my eyes as I tossed him a roll of paper towels to put with our cleaning supplies, bringing the toilet paper into the bathroom.

 

“How’s the drawing coming along?” I asked when I returned and Orion smiled, walking over to his bed and picking up his sketchbook. 

 

“Wanna have a look?” He asked with a smile and I nodded, following him over. 

 

When I saw the drawing I actually audibly gasped, a hand coming up to cover my mouth. 

 

“Holy shit! I mean… I knew you drew, but I didn’t know you  _ drew!”  _ I exclaimed. The piece before me wasn’t finished, but it was clearly done by someone with immense talent. It looked like a photograph. He’d even gotten my dimples and the two little freckles on my right cheek. In the picture I was smiling, and he’d gotten everything nearly spot on. He’d made my teeth a bit straighter than they were in real life, but that was such a miniscule detail for someone who’d known me for less than a day. “This is… it’s incredible!”

 

“You like it?” Orion asked, and his eyes were sparkling as I looked up, grinning back at him. 

 

“I love it!” His grin somehow got even larger and I watched how his entire face lit up with joy, his eyes crinkling in tiny moons framed by his thick dark eyelashes. His freckles popped from this close, and suddenly I realized we were much closer than I’d realized. With a surprised clearing of my throat I stepped back, feeling heat rise in my neck and cheeks. 

 

“So… wanna head down in a bit to go to that movie thing with the food?”

 

“Sure.” He agreed, his smile fading but not quite gone. “Do you want to ask Phil if he wants to come too? I’m pretty sure there’s no one else in that room - he probably doesn’t really know anyone.”

 

“Yeah, sure.” I agreed, smiling, because Orion was right - he was incredibly insightful, and proving more and more to be a thoughtful and genuinely kind person. I couldn’t believe my luck in getting paired with him to live together. 

 

Five minutes later and a somewhat awkward encounter at Phil’s door, and the three of us were walking down to the rec center. When we entered the space I was immediately overwhelmed - there were people everywhere, music playing, lights going - it felt like a bad school dance. There was a large projector screen on one side of the room and I could see people setting up for the movie, a few people beginning to sit down with plates of snacks they’d gotten from a large fold-out table most of the people in the room were crowded around. 

 

We made our way to the table and grabbed whatever food we could before darting away and to the side of the room where it was less occupied but we could still see the screen. 

 

“Let’s ditch if the movie’s not good?” Orion asked after a moment, having to yell over the din of the crowd. 

 

“Let’s ditch anyway? We can just watch something in our room.”

 

“Oh thank god.” Orion let out a relieved laugh and we looked to Phil who nodded, standing up with us. The three of us walked out with our food - we weren’t sure if it was entirely allowed to take their food and not stay, but it wasn’t like anyone had tried to stop us. When we made it back to our room we stalled by the door and I looked back to Phil.

 

“Oh… if you want to come in, you can watch something with us.” I offered and he gave a small smile before nodding. 

 

“If you’re sure that’s okay.”

 

“Of course it’s okay!” Orion smiled, and the three of us filed in. Orion set up a movie on Netflix and Phil settled in to my left, Orion returning and plopping down to my right. 

 

The movie began and we ate and watched. The room was small and it was a little squished with the three of us taking up the floor space. My knee was lightly brushing Orion’s, and for some reason I couldn’t seem to take my awareness of of the small point of contact. 

 

About halfway through the movie Phil got a text, shooting us an apologetic glance before reading it quickly and responding, shoving it back in his pocket. Only seconds later another text came. He ignored this one, though. Then there was another. Then another. Then his phone was ringing - someone was calling him and he flushed red before standing up a bit awkwardly. 

 

“Hey, sorry - I should go take this. Thanks for inviting me over. Uh… sorry again.” He apologized as he left the room in a hurry, lifting the phone to his ear. 

 

I looked to Orion and my eyes widened a bit at how close we were. I felt a little blood rush to my cheeks and looked down, trying to keep a smile from tugging at my lips. 

 

“Do you want to finish the movie still?” He asked, grinning as he moved his knee to the left to bump into mine. He didn’t pull it back after, though, instead leaving it resting lightly atop my own. 

 

“Um… yeah, that sounds good.” I agreed, sending him a small smile before turning back to the TV. 

 

There was now a large space to my left and we easily could have separated - or gone back to our beds. But Orion’s knee was holding me gently but firmly in place, and something in me just didn’t want to move. So I didn’t. 

 

We watched the movie and when it was over Orion sighed, turning and pressing his forehead against my shoulder. 

 

“I’m so tiiiiiredddd….” He groaned. “Don’t wanna get up and brush my teeth.”

 

“Come on, let’s get you up.” I chuckled, standing and helping him to his feet, wrapping an arm around his waist since he didn’t seem at all inclined to hold up his own body weight, instead hanging limply off my side. 

 

I helped him to the sink and we brushed our teeth, him leaning against my shoulder for support the whole time. We made eye contact in the mirror and I giggled - not exactly sure what I was laughing at - though I could see clearly that both our faces were flushed, and his lips were quirked up in a smile as well. 

 

“You look like a rabid chipmunk.” He giggled around his toothbrush and I rolled my eyes, laughing as I shook him off my shoulder. 

 

“Get off me, you oaf!” I joked, but a second later he was back, chin resting on my shoulder from behind as we looked into the mirror. 

 

“But I’m sleeeepy, and you’re warm!” He smiled and I felt myself soften, shaking my head with a smile before glancing over my shoulder at him. 

 

“Gonna spit.” I warned and he lifted his chin up so I could lean forward and spit, Orion returning the minute I’d straightened back up. 

 

It went on like this for another minute and then we were both laughing, and I was helping him back to his bed. 

 

“I’m really glad you’re my roommate, Dan.” Orion smiled as he pulled me into a hug and I laughed, hugging him back. 

 

“Right back at you.”

 

“I’m gonna draw so many pictures of you!” Orion gasped, eyes going wide as he pulled back to look me in the eyes, his gaze flickering between them with insisted importance. “You’re a great person to draw! You’re so pretty!” 

 

I felt my cheeks redden, heat rising to my face as I cleared my throat and blinked, eyes refusing to meet the red head’s steady gaze. 

 

“Are you one of those people who gets sleepy-drunk?”

 

“Maybe.” He chuckled quietly, blushing, as if he were admitting some deep embarrassing secret. 

 

“Alright, well it’s time for rest. Can you get up there yourself?” I asked and he nodded, crawling onto his bed. 

 

“Tuck me in?” He asked pitifully and I sighed, shaking my head with a smile on my face as I walked forward and tucked him into his covers, pulling them up to his chin. 

 

“Night, Dan.” Orion smiled with his eyes closed, and I stood there a moment, just watching how his freckles dusted his cheeks and nose. How his lashes were so long and curled so beautifully. How his forehead was smooth and crinkle-free in rest. How his lips were full and warm looking, and his hair framed his face in gentle waves. His skin seemed to glow in the moonlight coming in through the window and I felt almost like I was in a trance before shaking myself out of it and returning quickly to my bed. Suddenly my whole body was shivering as I stared up at the ceiling. 

 

What the hell was going on? I couldn’t… I wasn’t… Not only was he my freaking  _ roommate _ , but I wasn’t gay! And didn’t he say he’d  _ just  _ broken up with his girlfriend who he loved? Sighing, I tried to push the worries from my mind. It’d been a long weekend and I was very tired - it was probably just the nerves of getting to know someone new. Nothing more. 

 

Yeah, that’s right. Nothing more. I breathed out a gentle sigh of relief and I worked my way deeper into my covers and allowed sleep to take over slowly, erasing all panic and doubt from my mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me your thoughts in the comments! I've been gone for a while and am THIRSTY for feedback/thoughts, I'm not even ashamed xD


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you missed me and my insane starting a new story and posting 4 chapters within 24 hours ways? xD Hope you guys are liking it :D

“So… I’m ready for death.” I announced, dramatically flopping down on my bed after dumping my heavy backpack on the floor. Orion chuckled from his bed and raised an eyebrow at me, prompting me to elaborate. “I already didn’t know about three textbooks I apparently need, I have two essays due tomorrow, I have to read three chapters of different books, and have to read six syllabi.” 

 

“Sounds about right.” Orion laughed and I sighed dramatically, sinking into my bed. 

 

“First day of Uni and I’m already ready to drop out.”

 

“Hey, you can’t drop out! You can’t leave me all alone here!” 

 

“Fiiiine… I’ll stay. But just for you.” I promised sarcastically, pushing myself up to sit and hauling my backpack onto my bed to rifle through. “I can already tell this is going to kill me. I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired.”

 

In all honesty, it wasn’t  _ that  _ bad. I knew the workload would decrease, and I didn’t have every class every day, so my homework would be spaced out. Just this first day was a lot of information, and now I had a headache and absolutely no inspiration to get started on this work. Still, I pulled out my laptop and dove in, completing a good chunk before finally deciding to shove it to the side and lay back, staring at the ceiling. 

 

“How’d your first day go?” I asked eventually, realizing I hadn’t gotten Orion’s story yet. 

 

“Oh, it was alright. Lots of information and a little exhausting with all the lectures, but it could have been worse.”

 

“Yeah… well I’m about schooled-out right now, wanna play a round of Mario Kart?”

 

“Um… HELL YES!” Orion grinned ear to ear and I couldn’t help my expression from mimicking as we got off our beds and sat on the floor, starting up the playstation. 

 

“You know, even if this school kills me, at least I’ve got a rad flatmate to come back and de-stress with.” Orion smiled after a moment and I felt my stomach get all fluttery. 

 

“Did you just call me ‘rad’?”

 

“Nope. Definitely not.” Orion giggled and I shook my head, rolling my eyes with a grin plastered over my face. 

 

“Alright, Mr. ‘I Never Left the Early 2000’s’.” I chuckled and Orion leaned over to bump me with his shoulder good-naturedly. 

 

Soon we were racing and we found ourselves trying to mess each other up, either reaching over and pushing each others’ arms, bumping shoulders, or making up ridiculous distractions to try to get the other to look away. Finally we both were in 11th and 12th place driving backwards and we just put down our controllers, laughing too hard to breathe. 

 

It wasn’t until I caught my breath and the tears began to clear from my eyes that I realized we were entirely leaning on one another and Orion’s chuckled breaths were fanning out over my shoulder and neck, his lips just barely brushing the skin of my shoulder. I froze, my laughter slowly dying as I felt tingles race through my body, and I couldn’t tell if I wanted to push him away or pull him closer. This was an entirely new feeling, and the fact that he was a boy was somewhat terrifying, but also strangely exciting in a way I’d never have expected. 

 

When my laughter died his slowly did too and he pulled back from me but stayed close, looking between my eyes, seeming to try and read my thoughts. 

 

“Dan… I just got out of a long relationship…”

 

My eyes widened, not having expected him to be so forward. 

 

“And we’re roommates and all… but… I don’t know. I think I like you but it’s probably best we take this slow… okay? Not rush into anything.”

 

“Right… yeah.” I whispered, my voice feeling caught in my throat. “Uh… wait, you like guys? Didn’t you just break up with a girlfriend?”

 

Orion laughed at this, shaking his head, little creases forming near his eyes. “No! God, no. My boyfriend. I think I just said ‘ex’ before - I generally like to get to know someone at least a little before talking too much about my personal life.”

 

“Oh.” I said, my mind racing. I guess he hadn’t said girlfriend. I’d just assumed. 

 

“So… you’re kinda leaving me hanging here…” Orion said eventually, a small grin on his face and my eyes went wide, looking back to him.

 

“Huh?”

 

“I mean… I don’t want to start anything yet… but I  _ did  _ just kinda tell you I like you, and usually when you tell someone you like them you kinda hope that they’ll tell you what they think too.”

 

“Right! Yeah… um…” My brain scrambled, because I’d never liked a boy before… but here he was and every little touch sent shivers up my spine. His smile was infectious and I couldn’t stop looking at him. He made me feel fluttery - and wasn’t that proof enough? “Uh… I’ve never thought I wasn’t straight before.” I admitted and he chuckled, nodding. 

 

“I suppose that’s a good enough answer.” He grinned, bringing a hand down to rest on my knee. It was an intimate gesture, but not a pressing one. “Take your time. God knows I need mine, it’s only been a few days since I went through a break up. But… let’s just see how this goes, alright?”

 

I stared at him for a few moments, amazed at how someone could be so open about this kind of stuff. “...Alright.” I found myself saying, though, a blush rising up my neck and to my cheeks, looking down with a small smile - suddenly feeling immensely shy. 

 

“And hey - before anything else we’re friends and roommates, okay? I’m not gonna let us screw that up and make living together all weird.”

 

“Deal.” I agreed, and the smile couldn’t seem to leave my lips no matter how hard I tried. 

 

“Well I’m gonna go take a shower. Dinner in the dining hall when I get out?”

 

“It’s a plan.” I agreed, and my eyes shot wide as he went to get up, pausing to smile a warm smile, his pale green eyes in crescents as he looked into mine before pressing a feather-light kiss to my hairline. He stood up and gave me one last grin before walking into the bathroom, leaving me feeling in wonder and awe, my fingertips brushing where his lips had just been, my mind buzzing as I realized the reality - I had a crush on a boy. 


	5. Chapter 5

We ended up running into Phil on our way down to the dining hall and he shyly joined us, so the three of us were walking together.

 

I was surprised at how normal things were when Orion had gotten out of the shower. Nothing weird, no awkwardness, just two friends talking with the knowledge that they both were attracted to each other. It sounded like it shouldn’t work, but somehow Orion made it comfortable.

 

Now it felt perfectly fine to be hanging out with Phil and we made our way to the dining hall, chatting about our first days at school. Phil’s sounded like it was pretty similar to both of ours, and we shared horror stories of homework loads.

 

“So who called you last night?” Orion asked eventually and Phil’s eyes snapped to the ground in front of him, shrugging.

 

“Oh, just my girlfriend.”

 

“Oh! Does she live close by?”

 

“No, but she - we wanted to try and make it work, even with the distance.”

 

“Well more power to you. I could never do that, I don’t think - but I’m glad you’re trying to make it work.”

 

“Yeah.” Phil agreed with a small shrug. He didn’t really seem to want to talk about it and both of us picked up on that so soon the topic changed to what they were hoping was being served for dinner.

 

It ended up being lasagna, which all three boys agreed sounded pretty spectacular. They brought their food back and once again invited Phil in, all three sitting on the floor as they dug into their meals.

 

“Honestly - how do you even get your hair like that?” Orion asked Phil through a mouthful of lasagna and Phil blushed, shrugging.

 

“Lots of gel.”

 

“Isn’t that kinda nasty though?”

 

“Yeah… a bit. But my girlfriend says it looks better, so I started wearing it like this.”

 

A small silence rested in the room for a moment and Orion flicked a frown over in my direction, which I returned with a small shrug.

 

“Well I personally think natural hair is always nicer. Feels better too.” Orion grinned and Phil shrugged, not looking up from his plate.

 

“I suppose.”

 

“So, Phil, what’d you think of our English teacher?” I asked, trying to change the subject since it was leaving a strange feeling in the air. English was the one class I had with Phil, and our teacher seemed… eccentric to say the least.

 

“She seems nice. A bit scattered, but I think it’ll be a fun class.” Phil smiled and I nodded, agreeing. Mrs. Flint had crazy puffy hair and thick orange-rimmed glasses. She wore bright lipstick and patched clothing. Her style was all over the place and she’d toss a beat-up teddy bear at people when it was their turn to speak. She got excited over little things and would go on long tangents, but I could already tell it was going to be a fun class, even if it was a bit hectic.

 

“She’s certainly a character.” I agreed with a chuckle.

 

It wasn’t long before Orion suggested watching a TV show and we resumed our positions from the night before, turning on The Office, since we learned Phil had never seen it.

 

“You’ve never seen The Office?” Orion practically squealed.

 

“Oh we HAVE to watch it now!” I grinned, and soon Season 1 Episode 1 was playing. Orion sat close enough that our hips were gently touching, the contact running down my right thigh and then reconnecting at our feet. I glanced up at him, a small blush on my cheeks and a hint of a smile on my lips that he returned before turning his attention back to the TV. I did the same but bit my lip to hold in a grin as I felt his hand come up to my back, his thumb running three small strokes over my spine before he returned it to the floor, holding himself up. Phil didn’t seem to notice but I was doing my best not to grin like an idiot, and I could see out of the corner of my eye that Orion was smiling warmly, his gaze flicking between me and the screen.

 

We ended up watching two episodes before deciding to call it a night since we all had some work to do before tomorrow. Phil departed with a small smile and a ‘thanks for having me’, leaving Orion and I alone once more.

 

“So… uh…” I started, my blush intensifying as I scrambled for what to do now that we were alone. My words hung in the air for a moment before Orion let a small chuckle escape his lips, shaking his head and smiling up at me through those dark gorgeous lashes.

 

“You’re adorable.” He giggled, a hand coming up to cup my cheek as his light green eyes looked warmly into mine. “Get some work done. Let’s get some sleep so we can tackle tomorrow.”

 

“Right. Yeah.” I agreed, feeling entirely shaken yet completely content all at once. He smiled and got to his feet, helping me up. When I was standing, our hands still connected, I realized how close we were. I found myself staring for a moment too long at the boy who was just a few inches shorter than me but whose presence radiated far outside the confines of his body.

 

With a small laugh and a shake of his head, Orion leaned in on his tip toes and pressed his lips carefully to my temple, pulling back with a contented smile.

 

“Go. Work.” He ordered jokingly and I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding, laughing a bit as my cheeks heated up.

 

“Right.”

 

“You’re cute, Howell.” He spoke gently as he climbed onto his bed and I climbed onto mine, and the words sent warmth through my veins.

 

“And you’re distracting. No more talking until I’ve finished this essay.”

 

“Agreed.” He chuckled and I smiled, opening up my laptop.

 

It turns out you don’t need words to be distracting - several times I caught him looking at me over his laptop and I’d blush, looking back down to my essay, only to glance up a moment later to find him smiling at me and we’d both start giggling - unsure of exactly what we were laughing at, but just knowing we were both feeling a bit giddy and excited.

 

Finally my essay was finished and I huffed a sigh of relief, shutting the lid.

 

“Does that mean I can talk again?” He asked cheekily and I laughed, nodding.

 

“I suppose I can withstand your incessant jabbering.” I groaned sarcastically as I got up to brush my teeth.

 

“Excuse me, I don’t jabber!”

 

“I could beg to differ.”

 

“The things I say hold the utmost importance!” He insisted, getting up and following me, putting toothpaste on his own brush.

 

“Sure they do.”

 

“Hater.”

 

Giggling, I hip checked him lightly which he returned until we were in an all-out war as we brushed our teeth. Soon I was accidentally jabbing my toothbrush too far down my throat, buckling over as I gagged, spitting into the sink.

 

Immediately Orion’s arms were around my waist and he was stroking my back, chanting apologies.

 

“Are you okay? Oh my god that was so stupid, I’m so sorry. Breathe, okay? Are you alright?”

 

I nodded through my coughing to let him know I was okay, until finally the coughs subsided and I breathed heavily, spitting out the last bit of froth in my mouth and getting some water to swish around and spit out, then some more to swallow, soothing the burning in my throat. Finally I straightened up and was immediately pulled back into Orion who held me from behind, arms wrapping around me in a hug as I gratefully rested against him.

  
“I’m so sorry. I’m glad you’re okay.” He murmured, his thumb swiping gently over my arm from where his own arms held me in place.

 

“I’m fine. Just surprised me mostly.”

 

“Yeah. Probably wasn’t the smartest idea.” He agreed. We stood there for a moment before he gave me a light squeeze and let go leaving me feeling cold as he stepped around me and spit, rinsing his mouth out and returning his toothbrush to the counter.

 

“Time for bed, yeah?” He asked and I nodded, thoroughly exhausted. He turned out the lights and walked me to my bed where I climbed in, and tonight he was the one to tuck me in. “Sweet dreams, Dan.” He whispered, and I felt my heart flutter as he placed a gentle kiss right between my eyebrows.

 

I hummed in appreciation, not quite trusting my voice as my throat still felt a bit scratchy.

 

Of course Orion, being the considerate and aware person he was, was soon returning with a glass of water that he placed beside my bed.

 

“Good night.” He left me with one last whisper and a gentle reassuring squeeze on my arm before he was returning to his bed and turning off the last light, allowing us both to sink into sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

It’d been a week, and to be honest I had no idea what me and Orion were. Sometimes we were just friends, sometimes we’d lean on each other’s shoulders while we watched a movie, and he’d kiss me on the forehead before we went to sleep. I’d do my homework and he’d watch me, sketching carefully in his book. He’d fall asleep and I’d feel creepy, though unable to tear my gaze away as I watched his full lips part, his smooth freckled skin glinting in the light through the window. No matter what, though, we were together all the time, and he lit up my life. 

 

He opened up to me, too, a few days in, telling me about his relationship with the ex he’d left back home, Liam. Apparently they’d dated for almost a year. They’d planned from the beginning on not staying together when Orion went to University, but at the last minute Liam had changed his mind. They’d had a rough break up, but Orion knew it’d been for the best. He’d been slowly making himself come to terms with their inevitable split for over a month now, and he was feeling more accepting of it - he felt he had conclusion, while Liam obviously didn’t. 

 

Apparently Liam had taken it graciously, though. He’d spoken his points and respected Orion’s final decision. The redhead said he still cared for Liam - how couldn’t he - but he wasn’t in love with him anymore. It was in the past and while he knew it’d take time to completely be ‘over’ Liam, he knew he had moved on. 

 

I, in turn, told Orion about my past relationships. I hadn’t had one in the last year, but I’d had two girlfriends before and I explained that while I felt I loved them at the time, now I wasn’t so sure. He listened to me and we talked about when he realized he liked boys romantically. He said he’d known since he was young, but it took everyone a different amount of time. I knew I wasn’t gay - he was, but I certainly still found girls attractive. He threw out a few different terms and their descriptions, and in the end I decided either bi or pan most likely fit me the best. 

 

We flirted a lot but we never went too far, and he’d always check in with me with his eyes to make sure he wasn’t pushing any boundaries. My heart felt light around him, and I quickly accepted the fact that yes, I really liked him, whatever that meant for my sexuality.

 

Over this week we continued to spend time with Phil as well. One night I even ran into him in the bathroom again, and his hair was flat over his forehead, small waves through what looked like very soft locks - nowhere near their usual stiff texture as they stuck gelled atop his head.

 

After that, he began to start letting his hair stay natural more often. Never when we were going out - but if he was just coming over to watch a show or play Mario Kart, sometimes he’d arrive with gentle and soft hair, and Orion and I always made sure to compliment it, since we could tell it was an insecurity of his.

 

Today Orion had class so he was out, but Phil came over to play Mario Kart since we were both finished with our classes for the day. 

 

“So Phil, tell me more about yourself. So far all I know is you like film, you have a girlfriend, and… yup. That’s about it.”

 

“And I can beat you in Mario Kart.” Phil grinned, and I rolled my eyes. 

 

“Like  _ one third _ of the time.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Phil chuckled, and I was glad he was to the point of fully smiling and laughing around me - he’d been so tentative for the first few days, and while he still was, it had gotten better. “Um… I don’t know. There’s not much to me. I’m kinda weird, I think I’m a crazy person magnet whenever I’m out in public, I like film and literature… um… yeah, that’s about it. My girlfriend’s name is Sarah. We’ve been together for almost two years now.”

 

“Wow, that’s a long time. It must be hard to be apart.”

 

“I guess.” Phil shrugged, looking down at his hands. “I think she’s coming to visit next weekend.”

 

“Really? You’ll have to introduce us!” I grinned and Phil’s eyes flicked up to meet mine. I was surprised at the look in them - almost like shock or fear - but I dismissed it quickly as he looked back down. 

 

“Uh… yeah, probably. We’ll see.”

 

“Aw, come on! We’d love to meet her - I know both Orion and I want to get to know you better!” 

 

“Yeah… I’ll ask her what she thinks.”

 

I looked at Phil for a moment whose gaze was trained intently on his hands. Something seemed a bit off, but for the life of me I couldn’t guess what it could be.

 

“...Alright.” I responded finally, not knowing what else there was to say. 

 

“Back to the game?” He asked after a moment and I nodded, putting a smile on my face.

 

“Watch your back, Lester, you’re not winning this one!” I grinned and he smiled as we selected our course and began. 

 

I was right. He didn’t win - maybe that was because his phone started ringing, though, and he immediately set down his controller, sending me an apologetic smile. 

 

“Sorry. Gotta get this. It’s Sarah.”

 

“Ask her if I can meet her next weekend!” I grinned and he gave a small unconvincing smile before turning and leaving, heading back to his room. 

 

I sighed and shut the game down, returning to my bed and laying down, eyes on the ceiling. Something was off with Phil - I just couldn’t figure out what it could be for the life of me. 

 

I don’t know how long I contemplated this before I heard my door opening and grinned, sitting up. 

 

“Honey, I’m home!” A sing-songy voice came from the door and soon I could see Orion, a somewhat tired smile on his face as he dropped his backpack to the ground. 

 

“How was class?”

 

“Exhausting. I just want to lay down and not move for about three months.”

 

“Well I’m not sure about three months… but I think we can work something out.” I grinned, hopping up and turning on the TV, finding the show Friends. The Office was the show we watched when Phil was over, but Friends was our show. Once I had it set up I went back to my bed but Orion paused, a pout coming into his lips. 

 

“Daaannn I don’t wanna be alone.” Orion pouted, and I could see a smile behind his eyes so I just rolled my eyes, grinning. 

 

“Is that your way of asking if you can come onto my bed instead of yours?”

 

“Yes.” Orion admitted, grinning as he looked down then back up at me through his lashes. 

 

Well who could say no to that look?

 

“Get up here.” I chuckled as I made space for him on my tiny twin bed, pushing myself against the wall. 

 

He climbed up and my eyes went wide when he curled into my chest, pulling me into a hug with his head tucked under my chin. 

 

“‘S this okay?” He mumbled and I smiled, letting the breath go that I’d inhaled in surprise at his approach, relaxing and wrapping my arms around him, hitting play on the episode. 

 

“Of course.”

 

“Mmmkay. ‘M prolly gonna fall asleep.”

 

“That’s alright. I’ll be here when you wake up.” I whispered, and for the first time, I was the one to tilt my head down and press a kiss to his hair, smiling as I inhaled the smell of his shampoo - it smelled fresh - like mint and lime, and it made my smile grow even more as I kept my face buried in his hair, feeling his breath slow down over time until light snores were escaping his lips. 

 

When I woke, I was surprised - I hadn’t thought I’d fall asleep. I blinked a few times until the world came into focus around me, and my eyes widened when I realized Orion was not only wrapped in my arms, but he was just millimeters away from me, smiling as his gaze flit between my eyes. 

 

“How long have you been awake?” I asked, embarrassed that my voice came out scratchy. 

 

“Just a few minutes. Couldn’t bear to wake you… you’re cute when you sleep.”

 

“That’s creepy.”

 

“No, it’s  _ romantic. _ ” Orion smiled, pressing a light kiss to the tip of my nose. I could feel my eyes crinkle up as a smile worked its way onto my lips and I bit down on my lower lip so it didn’t spread into  _ too  _ embarrassing of a wide-stretched grin. 

 

“Has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?” I asked, because it was true. His eyes were so piercing - so pale a green you felt you could see into his soul, but he didn’t care. It didn’t make him vulnerable - it made him strong and beautiful. 

 

“Has anyone ever told you your smile is to die for?” He shot back and I blushed, looking down. 

 

“Have I ever told you that I think I kinda really like you?” I asked finally in a small voice and he grinned, biting his lip, and I couldn’t help but track the action with my gaze. 

 

“I’ve been waiting to hear that…” Orion whispered. “Would it be okay if…” He trailed off, looking down at my lips and I smiled before tilting forward, kissing him gently. 

 

The kiss didn’t last long - just a brief moment, but it was soft and comforting, and sent chills up my spine while simultaneously relaxing all the muscles in my body. 

 

“Yes. Yes, that’d be okay.” I giggled when we broke apart, and he smiled a smile so large I thought his lips might crack. 

 

“So… I know this is soon. And I know there’s about a dozen reasons why we  _ shouldn’t  _ do this… but do you think you might want to give this a try?” Orion asked, a small flush coming to his cheeks as his gaze flitted away nervously. “I mean… I don’t know. It all feels so fast, but I feel like the universe put us together for a reason, and… I just don’t want to wait any longer.”

 

“Yeah… yeah, I want to try this.” I breathed, feeling my own lips pull tight enough to nearly crack in a smile. “I mean… what you said before - that we’re friends and roommates first. We can’t ruin that - but as long as we’re careful… I really like you, and I want to try this.” 

 

“Okay.” Orion breathed, and then his lips were back but he was still smiling and so was I, so it was bumpy and a bit awkward, and then we were both giggling, pressing quick kisses to each others’ lips, noses, cheeks, and foreheads. 

 

“Wait, wait, wait…” I whispered after a moment, though, realizing there was one thing I needed to say before this all became official. “I need to ask you something, and if you want, we can forget all this happened and just go back to friends. I don’t want you to feel like you’re trapped into anything. But… I’m really new to all this. I mean… I haven’t been in a relationship in a while anyways, but I’ve never even thought about being with a guy before, so… I’ll want to take things slow. If that’s an issue, I totally understand, and you can just tell me and I’ll-”

 

Orion cut me off with his lips and I kissed him back carefully, though I was still waiting for his response. 

 

“Dan, of course that’s okay.” He finally pulled back and whispered, gazing at me with adoring green eyes. “I’d never rush you. It’s not just about sex to me - I like  _ you _ , Dan. I don’t care if we only kiss - I’ll take what I can get, and I’d never ask for something you’re not ready for.”

 

“God, how’d I find someone like you?” I whispered, and then our lips were moving together again, and yes… yes, I definitely liked boys.


	7. Chapter 7

Waking up with Orion in my arms was an incredible feeling. What was even better were the kisses that didn’t stop even when I mentioned my morning breath. 

 

“I don’t care.” He insisted, and I couldn’t help but smile, melting into his touch. It didn’t matter that he was a boy. It didn’t matter that I’d never thought my life would go this way. He was Orion, and he was making me indescribably happy. 

 

“As much as I love laying here, you have class and I have to be a good boyfriend and walk with you and buy you a coffee.” Orion murmured, holding my cheek in his hand, his green eyes somehow sleepy but excited at the same time. 

 

“Boyfriend?” I asked, a grin tugging at my lips. 

 

“If that’s alright with you.”

 

I smiled, leaning in and capturing his lips with mine before pulling back and resting our foreheads together, taking a deep breath. 

 

“I think I could be okay with that.” I whispered and he chuckled, pulling me into a hug. 

 

“Alright. Well then,  _ boyfriend,  _ get your ass out of bed, let’s get you to class on time!” 

 

I groaned but allowed myself to be dragged out of bed, a kiss landing on my cheek as a reward when my feet hit the floor. We got ourselves together and I couldn’t stop grinning, unable to quite believe that I got to call this beautiful boy my boyfriend. 

 

We left a few minutes later with mint on our breaths, and the minute we left the room I reached down and laced my fingers with his. He paused and I frowned, looking up to see his conflicted expression. 

 

“What?”

 

“Well… Dan… I just want to make sure you know - this is all new to you - being so…  _ public  _ with affection - it can bring its downsides. Some people can be assholes - I just want to make sure you know what you’re doing - I won’t be offended if you don’t want to be so open in public.”

 

“I don’t mind.” I responded instantly. I didn’t. If someone had a problem with anyone because of their sexuality I’d be ready to argue, it didn’t matter if it was directed towards someone else or me. “So long as you don’t?”

 

“I don’t mind one bit.” Orion grinned, tightening his grip on my hand and leaning in to press his lips to my jaw. “You’re incredible.” 

 

“I think you’re thinking of yourself.” I giggled, bumping him with my hip. He just squeezed my hand and then we were walking, and it was normal, just now he’d trace his thumb over my hand and my heart would beat a little faster when he’d lean in to whisper something in my ear and punctuate it with a brush of his lips against my cheekbone. 

 

We made it to the coffee shop and Orion insisted on buying me a coffee and a bagel. We sat down and I smiled, blushing lightly when I felt his ankle hook with mine under the table. 

 

“We’re gonna be  _ that  _ couple, aren’t we?” I asked, taking a sip of my coffee and Orion shrugged, reaching across the table with one hand to lace his fingers with mine, lifting them to his lips and pressing a soft kiss there. 

 

“Most definitely.”

 

“Oh god.” I groaned, but my smile gave away how little I truly minded. 

 

Conversation proceeded as normal from there - and yes, the flirting was more present than it had been before, but at the heart of it we were friends, and we moved through topics easily. 

 

Soon class time was creeping up and I sighed, sitting back and going to stand up. 

 

“Alright, I should probably-”

 

“Wait - sit back down a sec.” Orion murmured and I sat back down, raising an eyebrow. He was staring at me intently, brow a bit furrowed in concentration. 

 

“What?”

 

“You just look… the lighting in here… I’m gonna draw you when I get back, I want to remember this moment. I just need to take a mental picture.” 

 

I blushed at his words, wanting to look away but forcing myself not to, since he was trying to capture how I looked, and hiding my face wouldn’t help that. After a few moments he sighed and smiled, getting up and reaching out to help me to my feet. 

 

“Was that just an excuse to stare at me?”

 

“Do I really need an excuse for that?” Orion raised an eyebrow with a smirk and I sighed, shaking my head with a defeated smile. 

 

“No.” I half-whined and Orion giggled, grabbing our dishes and bringing them to the bus tub. 

 

“Let’s get you to class.” He smiled, coming up and linking elbows with me, and then we were on our way. When we got to my class we came to a stop and he turned to face me, lips tilting up into a smile, his lashes framing his eyes beautifully. God, I loved his eyes. “Have a good class. I’ll see you at home.” He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to my lips and I smiled into it before he pulled back, giving me one last smile before walking away and blowing one more kiss my direction. 

 

Home. It’d only just been over a week, but I had a boyfriend, and we had a home. 

 

With a grin on my face, I walked into my English class and set my things down beside a familiar light brown helmet of gelled hair. 

 

Phil jumped in surprise then smiled at me, scooting his chair over a bit to make room. 

 

“Hey.” He greeted as I sat down, pulling my notebook out for this class. 

 

“Hey, what’s up?”

 

“Just preparing myself for Mrs. Flint’s craziness.”

 

“I don’t think you can ever prepare yourself for that.” I chuckled and he nodded, smiling. 

 

“Hey, so did you ask your girlfriend if we can meet her this weekend?” I asked, before an idea came to me and my eyes went wide, sucking in an excited breath. “We can go on a double date!” I grinned and Phil frowned before his eyes widened, a small smile tickling his lips. 

 

“A double date? Does that mean….”

 

“Oh… right. Yeah, it kinda happened last night.” I blushed, smiling as I looked down at the desk. “We know it’s soon and sounds like a bad idea because we’re roommates… but we’re gonna be careful to not mess anything up.” 

 

Phil was silent for a moment as he nodded, seeming to think. “Well so long as you two are happy together, that’s what matters, right?” He smiled and I grinned back, nodding. 

 

“Isn’t he amazing, though?” I asked, and internally I couldn’t help but cringe at how much I sounded like a lovesick schoolgirl, but I just couldn’t keep myself from saying it. “He’s so cute and sweet and - I didn’t even know I liked guys, but I definitely like him and-”

 

“Yes.” Phil chuckled, cutting me off. “And wow, you’ve got it bad!” 

 

“Maybe.” I admitted, my cheeks pulling up in a smile as I blushed down at my table. “But I think he does too.”

 

“Alright class, let’s get this party started!” A somewhat shrill voice cut through and I chuckled, looking up to the front of the class, but I could feel Phil smiling next to me and relaxed my shoulders, happy that my friend approved. 

 

After a whirlwind of a class we packed up our things and I sighed, my stomach rumbling. 

 

“Hey, you wanna grab some food and come over? We can all hang out and play a game or watch some more of the Office maybe.”

 

“Oh… uh… I probably shouldn’t.” Phil muttered, looking down at his bag. “I’ll go with you to the dining hall, though.”

 

“Aw, come on! Do you have some friend you’re not telling me about? What else are you gonna do, come on, come hang out with us!” I whined, making a pouty face at him, and Phil frowned, looking at me like he couldn’t be sure I was sincere. 

 

“I mean… do you really want me there, though? You two are together now… I don’t want to intrude-” I interrupted him by laughing, shaking my head quickly. 

 

“Phil, we  _ live  _ together. We see each other all the time! You won’t be interrupting anything, we’d love to have you over.”

 

“Okay…. If you’re sure…” Phil agreed hesitantly and I smiled, triumphant. 

 

“I’m surely sure.” I grinned, and soon we were rushing to the dining hall and up to my dorm, Phil still trailing a bit behind, brow furrowed as if he didn’t quite believe me. 


	8. Chapter 8

“I’m home!” I called as I opened the door, a smile on my face. “And look who I brought with!” I saw Orion, his smile only making mine widen as I stepped aside to reveal an unsure looking Phil who ducked through the door, wringing his wrists. 

 

“Hey.” He spoke carefully, biting his lip. 

 

“What are you doing standing there in the doorway? Come on in!” Orion grinned and Phil nodded, stepping in. I closed the door behind us and went up to Orion, wrapping my arms around him and pressing a quick kiss to his lips before separating and sitting down on the floor, patting the ground beside me until they both sat down too. 

 

“So I take it you’ve told Phil our news?” Orion giggled and Phil nodded, blushing. 

 

“Are you sure you want me here? Because I really don’t want to intrude - if you two want your space I completely understa-”

 

“Are you kidding me?” Orion asked, laughing. “Of course we want you here! We’re around each other  _ literally  _ all the time. Please - we love having you over.” 

 

“Okay.” Phil agreed, sighing out a breath of relief and seeming to finally relax, allowing me to relax some tension I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding. 

 

“So Phil told me his girlfriend is coming into town next weekend, and I’m trying to convince him to let us go on a double date so we can meet her.” I grinned and Orion’s face lit up, nodding quickly. 

 

“Ooh yes, yes, please, Phil? It’d be so much fun to finally meet her! And you know as your two official best friends here we need to put our stamp of approval down on her - it’s a necessity!” 

 

“Um…” Phil mumbled, looking down at his hands. 

 

“Aw, come on, Phil, it’ll be fun! We can get pizza, maybe see a movie…”

 

“Sarah doesn’t like pizza.”

 

“Oh. Okay… well we can get some other kind of food. Or even just stay here! Literally whatever you want. We just want to make sure she’s good enough for you.” I chuckled, but my laughter died as Phil’s gaze snapped up to me, his expression empty of any levity. 

 

“It’s not your place to judge. We’ve been together for two years - I’ve only known you guys for a few days.” Phil snapped, and my eyes widened, flicking over to Orion whose face was just as shocked as mine. 

 

“Um… sorry, Phil.” I started, biting my lip. “We weren’t being serious. Of course you two have more history, and of course she’s good for you. You’re just our friend and we want to meet the girl who’s such a big part of your life.” 

 

Phil’s shoulders relaxed, slumping as he nodded, hanging his head. 

 

“You’re right. I’m sorry - I didn’t mean to snap at you guys.”

 

“That’s okay.” Orion spoke quietly and I nodded, the tension in the room palpable. “If you don’t want us to meet her that’s okay - we just want to know more about you, Phil. We like you - you’re our friend.”

 

“Yeah… um… I’ll ask her. She might say no - but if she wants to, we can do something.” Phil agreed after a moment and I smiled, nodding. 

 

“Thanks.” 

 

Phil looked over at me and nodded, a small smile coming to his lips. “Yeah…. No problem.”

 

“Alright, so how do you guys feel about an Office marathon? We can even order pizza since no one will be having any this weekend.” Orion chuckled and both Phil and I nodded excitedly, eager to leave the tense conversation behind us. 

 

Soon we were all sitting in front of the TV and Orion and I’s legs were pressed together, his hand resting above mine as we leaned back, watching the show. I felt little flutters in my chest and let out a happy sigh, resting my head on his shoulder. 

 

I was knocked off quickly, though, when a joke in the show made all of us shake with laughter, and then we were ordering a pizza and talking as the show played in the background. 

 

After a few hours of joking, eating, and watching, Phil’s phone began to ding with texts. His face would get serious in concentration as he responded quickly, and the texts began to arrive quicker and quicker as he seemed to get more and more frustrated. 

 

“What’s going on?” I asked finally and he shook his head, shoving his phone in his pocket, it dinging just a moment later. 

 

“Nothing. Just my girlfriend. She wants to talk on the phone but I said I’m busy.”

 

“Oh.” Orion nodded, but then three dings came in a row and Phil sighed, shaking his head and pulling his phone out again, reading the texts. 

 

“Okay… I’m sorry guys… I should probably just go call her.”

 

“I mean… can’t you call her later?” I asked, because we were having fun, and I knew neither I nor Orion wanted him to leave yet, and it didn’t seem like he wanted to leave either. 

 

“I… no, I should just go now. If it doesn’t take long maybe I’ll come back later?”

 

“Yeah, just let us know.” Orion agreed and Phil gave a small seemingly forced smile before turning his back and leaving, beginning to talk on his phone as he went. 

 

Once the doors were shut I turned to Orion with a sigh and he smiled a bit sadly, shrugging his shoulders. 

 

“I feel like this is becoming a pattern.” I observed and Orion nodded. A few moments passed of silence before he took a deep breath and let it out, shrugging his shoulders. 

 

“Hey… at least there’s one upside.” He smiled and I raised an eyebrow. 

 

“What?”

 

“I can do this now.” Orion grinned as he cupped my cheeks with his hands and leaned in, smiling against my mouth. I smiled back and soon we were kissing - gentle and slow. It was warm and comfortable, and when we made our way to the ground it wasn’t to get any more heated, it was just to lay together, cuddling as we kissed gently, his soft and full lips like warm pillows against my own as I allowed all stress and tension to melt from my body. 

 

Eventually the kisses stopped and I just pulled him to my chest, cuddling, my hand slowly playing with his hair. 

 

“So… how are you doing with the whole liking boys thing? Have you freaked out yet?” He asked eventually and I chuckled, squeezing him gently and pressing a soft kiss to his hair. 

 

“Nope. Not even a little. I don’t know - I never thought I wasn’t straight, but now I guess it kinda feels like it makes sense. To be honest I haven’t even been thinking about it all that much - it’s just easy. I’m sure… like… when we end up doing more…” Orion giggled at the blush creeping up my cheeks and I rolled my eyes, chuckling. “When we do more I’m sure it’ll be a little more… I don’t want to say weird - but new? Different. But at least now it just feels pretty natural.”

 

“Good.” He grinned, blinking up at me with those gorgeous green eyes. “Natural is good. But that doesn’t mean freaking out isn’t okay. It would be totally normal for you to freak out once or twice, and if that happens just know I’m here, okay? Friends first.”

 

“Friends first.” I agreed, smiling. “Have I mentioned how happy I am we’re roommates?”

 

“Maybe… remind me?” Orion grinned and I chuckled, turning him gently so he was on his back, rolling over to hold myself above him. I leaned in and ghosted my lips over his neck, smiling against the soft skin there. 

 

“I’m so-” I pressed a kiss to his neck, then moved to his jaw, “happy-”, I moved to his cheek, cupping his face with one hand, my thumb brushing gently over his cheekbone, “that we-” I pulled back, smiling, looking into his grinning eyes, then leaned down, staying just a hair away from his lips so that when I spoke they fluttered together just barely, my breath flowing over his mouth, “live together.”

 

“Just kiss me already.” Orion chuckled, his hand coming up to the back of my head and pulling me down gently into a warm and steady kiss. 

 

“We’re so fucking cheesy.” I chuckled against his lips, and Orion smiled, shrugging.

 

“Cheesy can be good.”

 

“You can say that again.”

 

“Cheesy can be good.” Orion repeated and I pulled back, rolling my eyes at him. 

 

“Idiot.” I grinned and he shrugged once more, a warm and happy gleam in his eyes. 

 

“Let’s watch a movie, yeah?” I asked finally and he nodded. I stood up off the floor and helped him up, and we both went to my bed, curling up together as we put on a movie. 

 

Phil didn’t end up coming back, but we had a good night halfway watching the movie and half sleepily kissing until our breaths slowed down and we were asleep, tangled together atop my duvet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me all your thoughts, theories, criticisms, things you love, etc. I live for comments <3


	9. Chapter 9

“Are you guys coming?” I spoke into my phone, looking past Orion who was sat next to me in the booth and out the window of the restaurant, searching for a light brown helmet of hair. 

 

“Yeah sorry we’re on our way, Sarah changed her outfit at the last minute and then wanted me to change so we’d match - it’ll just be a minute.”

 

“Oh god you two are  _ matching? _ I giggled, looking over to Orion who put a hand over his mouth, chuckling softly. 

 

“Shut up.” I could hear the playful exasperation in Phil’s tone, then the far away sound of a girl talking. “We’ll see you in a moment.”

 

“Well I thought we were bad - but if they coordinate outfits, maybe they’re even worse than us!” I chuckled and Orion smiled, nodding. 

 

“I mean… let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. It’s been a few weeks - it can be hard to be apart when you’re used to seeing each other every day.”

 

“I guess you’re right.” I agreed, smiling as I reached over to take his hand, lacing our fingers atop the table. 

 

It was only a few minutes later that Phil walked through the door, a girl with long chocolate brown hair pulled back in a tight ponytail by his side, her arm wrapped around his waist. They weren’t disgustingly matchy, but they did both have on a lot of purple and certainly looked like they were supposed to be together. She greeted the host and soon they were walking over, a huge smile spread across her lips. 

 

“Hello! You must be Phil’s friends! My name is Sarah, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” Her voice was cheery and high pitched and I smiled, shaking her hand as she and Phil scooted into the booth. Her gaze flicked down to our hands on the table and I could see her realization that we were together, but her smile only widened as she looked back up to meet my gaze. “I’m so sorry we ran a little late! What a bad way to make a first impression!” She scooted close to Phil’s side and took his arm in hers, resting her head on his shoulder. 

 

“Don’t worry about it, we weren’t waiting long. I’m Dan.” 

 

“And I’m Orion. Pleasure to meet you.” Orion spoke beside me, and I couldn’t help but glance over at him, my eyebrows pulling together for just a split second in surprise at the thin veil of formality that graced his tone. Orion wasn’t one to speak formally that way just because someone was a stranger - but maybe he just could tell Phil was nervous. It was pretty obvious - Phil was looking at the table and biting his lip, and I couldn’t blame him for that. It’s always awkward to have two separate parts of your life collide.

 

“Oh I know your names, Phil has told me so much about you two! He failed to mention the nature of your relationship, though…” Sarah smiled, looking down at our hands and then back up at us. 

 

“Oh, yeah, it’s pretty new.” I mentioned, shrugging, and Sarah nodded, looking over to Phil. 

 

“Still, I thought he would have told me about such a big piece of news about his best friends here!” Sarah elbowed Phil gently in the ribs in a playful manner and he blushed, nodding and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. 

 

“I’m sorry - I must have forgotten to mention it. I thought I’d told you.” 

 

“You know I like to know about what’s going on in your life - I hate being so far away from you.” Sarah sighed, her ear resting on Phil’s shoulder and he gave a small smile, nodding. 

 

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. Anyways, should we order?” Phil asked and I nodded, smiling as my stomach rumbled, excited by the prospect of food. 

 

The waiter came and we ordered, Sarah ordering for Phil who just smiled at the waiter and nodded, his hand coming down to lace with his girlfriend’s. The waiter gave a small nod once he’d read everything back and left with a smile. 

 

“So Phil told me that you two are roommates?” Sarah asked once the waiter had gone. I smiled and nodded my head, opening my mouth to speak before I was interrupted by Orion. 

 

“Yeah. We are.” I turned to face him, eyes wide in shock at the curtness of his tone. Why was he being so rude to Phil’s girlfriend? Both Phil and Sarah looked a bit taken aback too, but Sarah shook it off quickly. 

 

“Well that’s nice. And… you invite Phil over?”

 

“Yeah, of course! Just because we started dating doesn’t mean we can’t hang out with friends anymore. We love spending time with Phil.” I smiled and Sarah nodded, a small smile with her eyebrows raised slightly. I frowned a bit, trying to read her expression but not quite able to. 

 

“Well that’s very considerate of the two of you.” She smiled eventually and I nodded, breathing out a small sigh of relief I didn’t know I’d been holding. This girl almost made me feel like I was taking a test, and I didn’t want to get any answers wrong. 

 

“It’s not like we’re doing him any favors. We’re friends. We hang out. It just so happens that Dan and I are also dating, but that has no affect on how or when we hang out with our friends.” Orion practically snarled and I turned to him wide eyed once more, elbowing him lightly in the ribs and giving him a look that said  _ ‘what the hell are you doing, knock it out!’. _ He just shook his head back and looked down, and I could see the anger behind his eyes, though I didn’t understand it in the slightest. 

 

“Um… anyways, how was your morning?” Phil asked, clearly uncomfortable and trying to change the subject. 

 

“It was good! Pretty slow - we just ate cereal and played Mario Kart until it was time to get ready and come over here for lunch.” I took the chance to answer before Orion could, not trusting him at this point not to be rude - though the reason still confounded me. At some point our hands had come unlaced and now he was sitting with his hands in his lap, looking down at them, his gaze every once in a while flicking up to practically glare at Sarah. 

 

“Well that’s nice. Phil and I slept in after he had to pick me up so late from the train last night, but we just spent the morning in bed really.” Sarah smiled, a suggestive hint to her eyes and tone, and Phil blushed a beet red, looking down at his lap. I blushed too, unknowing of how to respond to that. I looked over to Orion and he was fuming so intensely I could picture steam coming out of his ears, so I decided to jump in before he could say anything.

 

“Okay well, what are the plans for today?”

 

We ended up figuring out that Sarah had planned the whole day out - after lunch we were going to go see this movie she was excited about, about love in the Civil War era. Then we were going to go on a walk to the rose gardens, and then catch a taxi back to the dorm building. 

 

We finished lunch - me trying to change the subject whenever it appeared that Orion was about to pipe up. I missed it a few times, him throwing cutting remarks and glares toward Sarah. When we had payed and were getting ready to leave I stood up quickly, a frown on my face. 

 

“I’m going to the bathroom.” I announced, sending Orion a look, but he was looking down at his hands in his lap. I cleared my throat and he looked up, frowning, then sighed and got up too, following me. “We’ll be right back.” I excused us and Sarah raised her eyebrows - she was clearly expecting that our bathroom trip was headed somewhere very different than what I intended. 

 

“What the actual fuck are you doing?” I whisper-yelled once we rounded the corner into a hall by the bathrooms and Orion sighed, shaking his head. 

 

“Do you really not see it?”

 

“Not see what? How you’re being a complete ass to Phil’s girlfriend who he was already nervous to introduce us to in the first place?”

 

“ _ No _ , how Phil’s  _ girlfriend  _ is a psychotic homophobic controlling freak who is clearly horrible for Phil.” My eyes went wide at his bitter statement and I blinked, his words surprising me entirely. 

 

“What are you talking about, she’s been nothing but nice!”

 

“She controls what Phil does, she gets mad at him for not telling her every detail of something, she shares information he  _ clearly  _ is uncomfortable with us knowing, and the minute she realized we were together she became super fake - I’ve seen this before. Dan, look… you’re new to all this. I know what it looks like when someone notices I’m gay and suddenly is all ‘nice’, but it’s all fake. Trust me.”

 

“I’m sorry but I just don’t see it. Yeah maybe she’s a little over-excited after not seeing him for weeks, but that doesn’t mean she’s bad for him. We can all be controlling now and again. Let’s just give her the benefit of the doubt, okay?” I looked at Orion who frowned, seeming skeptical, and I sighed. “At least for Phil. Just for today? He didn’t even want us to meet her and now you’re acting like she’s literal Satan and it’s clearly making him uncomfortable.”

 

“Okay…” Orion agreed after a moment, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I’ll be  _ civil. _ But I’m telling you - that girl’s bad news.”

 

I rolled my eyes slightly but took Orion’s hand, sighing. “Alright, let’s head back in.”

 

As we went to leave the hall Orion chuckled a bit and I raised my eyebrows to ask him what it was about. With a smirk he got up on his tiptoes and leaned in to whisper into my ear.

 

“They totally think we just fucked.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me all your thoughts please!!! <3


	10. Chapter 10

Thankfully, Orion was less cold the rest of the day. He still didn’t seem particularly happy and I caught him rolling his eyes a few times, but he was no longer outright aggressive. Sarah took us to the movie, and to be honest it was pretty horrible. She took us all to sit in the back, and the few times that one of us would lean to another to whisper anything, she’d shush us. 

 

This wouldn’t be so bad, except halfway through the movie she suddenly turned to Phil and began kissing his neck. I glanced over at the movement to see Phil stiffen and blush a deep red, pushing her back and whispering quietly. She whispered something back and then was back to kissing his neck and I saw him shift uncomfortably in his seat before looking away, feeling like I was invading on something. I felt Orion’s grip on my hand tighten and knew that he noticed as well, but I didn’t want to look over at him - it felt like it’d be a confirmation that he was right, and I wasn’t ready to lose hope for Sarah and Phil yet. 

 

It got worse when five minutes later I heard the quiet tug of a zipper followed by some shuffling. My eyes went wide but stayed trained on the screen, and I felt Orion’s nails dig into my palm. I was sitting directly next to Sarah, so I held perfectly still, not wanting to acknowledge what was happening next to me in the slightest. 

 

The sounds that followed were blatant and telling, and I saw the movement of Sarah’s arm out of my peripherals as well as Phil’s hand coming up to cover his own mouth. I squirmed in my seat - I don’t think I’d ever been more uncomfortable in my life. Finally I looked over to Orion who gave me a look. An  _ ‘I told you so’  _ look, and I dropped my head to the ground, embarrassed, uncomfortable, feeling far too invasive, and disappointed in myself for not listening to Orion’s concerns earlier. 

 

This was clearly not something Phil wanted to be doing right now - clearly not something that he wanted  _ us _ around for - but Sarah hadn’t taken no for an answer, so here we were. 

 

The next few minutes were agonizingly torturous - hearing Phil’s small sounds muffled by his hand, the wet slapping of skin, and the slobbery sound of Sarah’s lips on his neck. 

 

When the small gasp and release of sound came, I wasn’t sure if I was cringing or relieved - it certainly wasn’t something I’d ever planned on hearing, but at least it meant it was over. There was a shuffle and then a zip and the movement stopped, Sarah resting her head on Phil’s shoulder and his arm coming around her.

 

The movie finished and I didn’t pay attention to a second of it, far too lost in my own thoughts and discomfort to follow the plot. When we left Sarah acted like nothing had happened, announcing it was time to go to the gardens. Phil was still a deep red and excused himself to the bathroom, walking quickly away. 

 

We stood there uncomfortably with this girl, shifting back and forth between our feet. She made some small talk about the movie - how she remembered a bit of it I couldn’t tell you. When Phil returned he refused to meet either me or Orion’s eyes, simply taking Sarah’s hand and letting her lead us all out of the theatre. 

 

The walk through the rose garden was just us listening to Sarah talk on and on about the significance and symbolism of flowers.

 

“At our wedding we need to have red and pink roses, and then calla lilies for the aisle.” Sarah beamed, hanging on Phil’s arm. He just looked at her and chuckled a little uncomfortably, nodding. I looked to Orion, eyes wide, and I saw my thought reflected in his eyes.  _ She’s already making wedding plans for them? _

 

The walk continued like this for a long time, until we were headed back to the street to catch a taxi. 

 

“So what are your favorite things about Phil?” Sarah asked as we walked back and my eyes widened, stammering a bit. 

 

“Oh um… uh… he’s a nice guy. He’s fun to hang out with - has a good sense of humor.” 

 

“No, I mean like physically. He’s so hot, right?” Sarah grinned and Phil blushed, eyes trained on the ground. 

 

“Oh. Yeah I mean, he’s a good looking guy…” I conceded, surprised when Orion’s grip on my hand tightened and I looked up to see him shoot me a warning glance. 

 

“Yeah I suppose he’s pretty attractive, but we’re all just friends so we don’t really think about that.” Orion spoke with a sharpness that wasn’t necessarily aggressive, but put an effective end to the subject. Sarah nodded at his response, rolling her tongue against her lip, seeming to think over his answer. 

 

Finally we reached the street and caught a cab, the ride back to the dorms uncomfortably silent. When we got back we went to our room with a quick goodbye, shutting the door and both of us letting out sighs of relief, beyond exhausted by the day. 

 

We barely had a moment to relax before Sarah’s voice piped up through the wall - the walls were thin and unless you were significantly quiet, the neighbors could hear everything. 

 

“They don’t seem like good friends for you. I think you should find some other people to hang out with.” 

 

My mouth opened in indignation, looking to Orion who was glaring at the wall. 

 

We heard a mumbled response from Phil - who was clearly trying to be quieter so as not to be heard, but Sarah clearly wanted us to hear this. 

 

“You know - I think they might even like you. I think they’re trying to get you to join them in their… relationship… or whatever it is.”

 

“Oh you’ve got to be  _ kidding  _ me!” I whisper yelled and Orion sighed, shaking his head. 

 

“I knew that was coming. Why else did she ask us if we thought he was attractive? And that display at the theatre - that was such a power move. She was staking her claim.”

 

“Is that a thing?” I asked, eyes wide in disbelief. 

 

“Yeah, that’s a thing.” He mumbled and I shook my head. This was ridiculous. It couldn’t be happening. My mind couldn’t wrap around this as a reality - one where Phil has a girlfriend who is… controlling? Abusive? The word scared me with its strength, but that’s the way it was feeling. This day didn’t feel real. 

 

It got worse when the moans started - Sarah was clearly the loud one in bed, and now I wouldn’t even be surprised if it was heightened all for our benefit. Either way, we heard every second of it, and then again twenty minutes later when it started once more. 

  
Orion and I just laid in his bed in one another’s arms, the blanket over our heads to try and muffle some of the noise as we spoke and shared our concerns for our friend. 

  
At least Sarah would be leaving tomorrow… and then maybe… just  _ maybe  _ we could get through to him.


	11. Chapter 11

I really wished Orion wasn’t in class. I didn’t want to have to have this first conversation alone, but here we were. I had run into Phil in the bathroom, it’d been a bit awkward, and I’d ended up inviting him over to hang out. Now we were sitting on my floor, playing Mario Kart, and trying to avoid the obvious topic hanging in the air. 

 

“So uh… have you written your essay for Mrs. Flint yet?” Phil asked as I rounded a corner, frustrated that the distraction in my mind was leaving me in 7th place. 

 

“I’m halfway done. You?”

 

“Haven’t started. Didn’t really have time this weekend.”

 

“Right.” I responded, feeling my heart beat a little faster even just at the thought of Phil’s girlfriend. “So um… how was it having her over?”

 

“Sarah? It was good. Yeah. It’s the longest we’ve ever gone not seeing each other, so it was nice to be back together again.”

 

“Yeah… she seemed to miss you.” I spoke carefully. Maybe I’d gotten it wrong. Maybe Orion had planted some bad thought about her in my mind, and really she wasn’t that bad. I really didn’t  _ want  _ her to be bad, so I allowed a bit of hope to return, crossing imaginary fingers that Phil was going to explain it all and I could stop worrying about him. 

 

“Yeah - she has a hard time with the distance. She was certainly a bit… you know…” Phil mumbled, clearly not wanting to finish his sentence. 

 

“Yeah.”

 

“...Sorry about that.” Phil spoke eventually and I shrugged, allowing my spark of hope to catch flame - Sarah was fine. She just missed Phil and maybe didn’t have the best sense of boundaries. That wasn’t a crime. 

 

“It’s alright.” I responded, and silence took over as we continued to play. “I mean…” I continued after a pause. “I certainly wasn’t expecting to be two feet away from my friend getting jacked off, but…” I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, but the minute the words left my mouth I wished I could pull them back in and swallow them down, my face heating up. 

 

“Oh god, can we please not talk about that?” Phil raised his controller to his face, hiding behind it and not even attempting to continue playing. I paused the game, blushing and looking down at my own hands in my lap. “I’m so sorry - she just - I tried to tell her we shouldn’t there but she wanted to and… I’m sorry, god that was awful.”

 

“It’s okay. Just… next time she’s in town let’s  _ not  _ go to the movies together.”

 

“Yeah I don’t think I’ll ever let that happen again.” Phil chuckled and I breathed out a sigh, glad that some of the tension was leaving the air. “But aside from that, what’d you think of her?” He asked and I tensed up a bit, scrambling in my mind for a response. 

 

“Um… I mean, she was nice. She definitely seemed a bit…” I trailed off, searching for the right word.

 

“She was definitely nervous about meeting you two. You’re my only friends here, I think she was acting a little weird because she didn’t know how to be around new people. She worries about me making friends here and forgetting about her… but I talked to her last night and we got it all sorted out.”

 

“Yeah, that makes sense.” I smiled, my worries vanishing about Phil’s girlfriend. “And you two seem very sweet together - it’s clear she really cares about you, which is good.”

 

“Yeah, she does.” Phil agreed with a smile, and with that we left the topic of Sarah behind. 

 

We started our game back up and returned to our more normal banter - Phil still held his normal awkwardness and sometimes slipped into a strangely formal tone, but that was nothing new. After a few hours Orion returned and he joined the game, all of us laughing and snacking as the competition got heated. 

 

Once I’d won more games than either of them combined we decided to call it quits for the night. 

 

“Hey I can order a pizza and maybe we can all just chill and watch a show or something?” Orion suggested and I nodded hungrily, grinning, before I looked over to Phil who had a small frown on his face. 

 

“Um… I don’t know, maybe I should head back - it’s kind of late.”

 

“Are you kidding? Phil, it’s barely eight o’clock! Come on, we’ll get a bunch of food and pull down our blankets and make a little fort. It’ll be fun!” Orion pleaded excitedly.

 

“Are you coming onto me?” Phil asked, his tone brave but his eyes refusing to meet either of ours, looking at the ground. 

 

“Excuse me?” Orion asked, eyes as wide as my own felt, my jaw hanging open at Phil’s question. 

 

“Are you… nevermind, sorry that was a stupid question.” 

 

“You bet your damn ass it was a stupid question, Phil.” Orion snapped, and my eyes opened even wider at the sharpness of his tone. “Do you really think I’m trying to sleep with you? Do you think Dan and I are just trying to lure you in? You know just because we’re together and we like guys doesn’t mean that we’re automatically attracted to you or want you anywhere near us in that way. So kindly fuck off with whatever homophobia that witch girlfriend of yours has instilled in you and you can come back whenever you’re ready to be our friend again.”

 

“Orion!” I snapped, shocked at how harsh he was being. “I don’t think Sarah-”

 

“Oh come on - you heard her last night! ‘Phil, you shouldn’t be friends with those two. They’re just trying to get in your pants.’” Orion mimicked Sarah’s voice that we had heard through the wall, and I watched as Phil’s face went red and his fists clenched. “That girl is  _ toxic _ , Phil! She’s manipulative! She’s controlling! Phil, she’s fucking emotionally abusive you have to-”

 

“Shut up!” Phil yelled and I froze, turning to him feeling like a deer in the headlights, unable to comprehend what was happening around me, in disbelief of the normally calm and docile Phil yelling at my boyfriend. “Just - shut up. She is none of those things and you don’t know her at all. And that’s not what she said last night! She’s just… she’s just worried about me, okay? She wants to make sure I’m making friends with the right people. And you know what… maybe she’s right. Maybe I  _ have  _ made the wrong friends.”

 

“Phil…” I spoke finally, my voice coming out shakier than I’d expected. 

 

“No. Stop. Sarah is amazing and I love her and we’ve been together for two years. You two have no right to say anything about her. You don’t know her at all and-” Phil’s voice caught in his throat and I bit my lip, watching as his eyes welled up with tears. “You’re my only two friends - you don’t get to just - to just-”

 

“Phil…” I spoke again, taking a careful step towards him. When he didn’t pull away I walked up to him, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him into a hug as he began sobbing into my shoulder, hugging me tightly back. “Shhh, shhh…” I whispered gently, stroking his back carefully with my hand. “It’s okay. I’m sorry. We just… what we saw yesterday was a little concerning, but I know that that was just one day and you know her way better than either of us. I trust you and if you love her then she deserves for us to give her a second chance… she was probably just nervous around new people…. Right Orion?” I asked, turning my head to give him a pointed glare and he sighed in frustration before shaking his head and shrugging, clearly not wanting to agree with me. 

 

“I guess. I still don’t like her but… One more chance. But Phil I’m worried about you…”

 

“I’m fine.” Phil sobbed into my shoulder, the picture of not-fine. “I don’t need your help. I just want you to be my friends and for you to like the girl I love.”

 

“We’ll try, okay Phil? We really will.” I whispered and he nodded into my shoulder, clutching his fingers into my back.

 

“Thank you.” He whispered after a moment and I nodded, tightening my grip around him before pulling back a bit to look in his eyes, giving him a small smile and lifting my hand to wipe away his tears. 

 

“Of course. Now let’s get some pizza and watch a show and know that no one here is trying to fuck you, Phil, we just like your company.” I chuckled and he laughed weakly, smiling as he nodded and lifted his sleeve to wipe his eyes. 

 

“Right. Yeah. Thanks.” He agreed and I gave his arm one last squeeze before letting go entirely. Orion gave us one look before nodding, seeming to settle for agreeing with this truce - at least for now. 

 

Twenty minutes later found us with steaming pizza watching the Office and giggling, all thoughts of our argument faded. 

 

Two episodes later found me looking over in surprise when Phil’s head came down to gently rest on my shoulder. I looked to Orion with furrowed eyebrows and he peered around me before settling back and smiling, shrugging at me. 

 

“He’s asleep.” Orion smiled and I nodded, sinking down a bit to allow Phil a slightly more comfortable pillow. “You’re amazing.” Orion continued after a moment, leaning over to kiss me on my cheek and taking my hand in his. “Thank you for calming me down and keeping me from exploding. I get really defensive of my friends… but sometimes it’s best to give a little space and just support them. You teach me new things every day, Howell.”

 

I just smiled and squeezed his hand, turning my attention back to the show. “Let’s just hope he’s right. I’m sorry - I care about you a lot and I’m on your side in almost everything - but in this case I really really hope you’re wrong.”

 

“Me too…” Orion whispered after a while and we sat there, turning the volume down and watching the show as Phil slept peacefully rested against my shoulder. 


	12. Chapter 12

I didn’t know when I fell asleep, but I didn’t wake up until I felt a weight lift from my shoulder and blinked my eyes open to see Phil pushing himself up and turning off the TV quietly, dark enveloping the room so I could just barely make him out from the moonlight coming in through the window. 

 

“Hey.” I whispered and he turned, eyes wide. 

 

“Hey. Sorry about… I just passed out.”

 

“That’s alright.” I smiled, shrugging. “Have a good night, okay? And Phil - if you ever need someone to talk to, you know I’m here. And I’ll make sure Orion’s okay with everything too - I’m sorry about today.”

 

“Don’t be. You’re just looking out for me. Thank you.” Phil whispered before letting out a small sigh. “Night, Dan.”

 

“Goodnight.” I whispered and he gave a little wave before leaving through the bathroom. 

 

I laid there for a second before turning and poking Orion gently who was curled up facing away from me. When I poked him he mumbled something and turned over, sleepily smiling and pulling me down into a warm kiss. 

 

“Come on, let’s get off the floor.” I giggled into his lips but he just pulled me closer, humming against my mouth. 

 

“But don’t wanna move. ‘M tired ‘n this is nice.”

 

“It’ll be even nicer on a mattress.”

 

“Ugh, I hate that you’re right.” Orion whined after a moment and I chuckled, helping him to his feet and into my bed, throwing the duvet over him and then getting into bed myself. 

 

The minute I was on the bed he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me over him so I was straddling his waist, my eyes opening in surprise, a small laugh escaping my lips. 

 

“Whoa there cowboy.” I joked before he pulled me down, kissing me warmly. 

 

“Mmmm you taste good.” He smiled against my mouth and I kissed him back, carefully lowering myself down so I could lay gently on top of him and didn’t have to hold my weight up over him. 

 

“And you get silly when you’re tired.” I whispered back. 

 

“Mmm no more talking.” Orion whispered and then he was kissing me again, his hand coming up to cup my cheek. I smiled against his lips and brought my hands down to his waist, inching them just barely under his shirt and over the waistband of his pants, my thumbs making small circles on the skin of his hipbones. 

 

His tongue slowly worked its way into my mouth and I took in a breath as I felt a bit of heat pool in my abdomen, returning the efforts with my own tongue. 

 

I didn’t even notice when he first rolled his hips gently into mine, but suddenly we were moving gently and I could feel both of our bodies feeling the effects of arousal, my mind beginning to spin. I began to slow us down, stopping the movement and turning the hot and wet kisses into pecks. 

 

“Slow…” I whispered, kissing his cheek. “‘M tired. Time for sleep, we can do this when we’re less sleep-drunk.”

 

“Fineeee…” Orion whined, but I could tell he was kidding. “But I get to be little spoon tonight.”

 

“Deal.” I agreed, kissing him on the cheek and turning him around to wrap myself around him from behind, concentrating until I felt the arousal leave my body, sinking into sleep with my boyfriend in my arms. 

 

Waking up to kisses is one of the best feelings in the world, and no one can tell me otherwise. 

 

I giggled as wet kisses were pressed to my eyelids, my cheeks my nose, my forehead, my mouth, my chin, and my neck. 

 

“Get off me, you oaf!” I giggled, shoving Orion off of me but following him and pressing my mouth right back to his, smiling widely. “Good morning.”

 

“Good morning! What do you say to shitty dining hall breakfast, coffee, and being an absolutely boring and lame grossly happy couple before class?”

 

“Sounds disgusting. I love it.” I grinned, and soon we were dressed and walking down to the dining hall hand in hand. 

 

Our prediction was correct - the eggs were cold, the pancakes were soggy, and the coffee was bitter, but we sat there hand in hand knowing full well how disgusting we were as we gazed into one another’s eyes and made each other laugh with just a look. 

 

“So… have you thought any more about taking that theatre class?” Orion asked, a glint in his eye. I had told him about my interest in theatre and that there’d be room in my schedule next quarter to take a class our university offered, but I wasn’t sure. 

 

“Um… I don’t know. Part of me wants to, and part of me is absolutely terrified to be honest.” 

 

“Well I think you should do it. It’ll be fun, and maybe it’ll give you that push to actually go for a career you’d love.” Orion smirked and I sighed, rolling my eyes. 

 

“Law is the sensible choice.”

 

“And since when have you been one to choose the sensible option?”

 

“Well maybe I should start.”

 

“Well maybe you should give yourself options. I’m just saying.” Orion grinned and I smiled, but I could feel that it was forced - I already disliked the idea of law so much, but I knew it was the smart decision and having someone I cared about telling me not to do it - while I knew it was for all the right reasons - really wasn’t helping me while I was trying to make the responsible decision. 

 

Somehow Orion must have seen this in my face because suddenly his expression softened and he squeezed my hand, looking at me intently. “Hey. You can do whatever you want and you know I’ll be proud of you and behind you a hundred percent. I just want to encourage you to try the things you want to do - I just want you to be happy.” 

 

“Thank you. I know you do.” I smiled back, squeezing his hand and sighing. “Maybe I will take it. Then the quarter after maybe I can take a music class. Just see how they go and if I’m any good.”

 

“I can’t wait to be your first and biggest fan.” Orion grinned and I felt myself blush, shaking my head fondly. “Now let’s get you to class.” He stood, extending his hand which I took and allowed him to help me to my feet, blushing. We carried our food to the trash and emptied it, stacking our trays, then walked to my class hand in hand. When we reached the door he pressed a gentle but solid kiss to my lips and I melted into it, smiling. Warmth was fresh in my veins and everything felt cloudy, overwhelmed with my affection for this boy. 

 

When he backed up and gave a little wave before leaving I couldn’t help but stare, then call out when he was turning to leave for good. 

 

“Wait!” 

 

“Huh?” He asked, turning back to face me with a surprised smile. 

 

“I… uh… I love you.” I blushed, embarrassed to be making this confession in such a haphazard and public way. Orion just grinned, though, his smile splitting his face from cheek to cheek as he swiftly made his way back to me and wrapped me up in another kiss, filled with passion and warmth. When he pulled away he pecked my nose and looked up at me through those pale green eyes I adored so much. 

 

“I love you more. Now go learn things. I’ll see you tonight.” And with that he was gone and my lips were tingling, a smile plastered to my face as I sat in class for two hours, the teacher’s words going in one ear and straight out the other. 


	13. Chapter 13

“I’m not doing it if you don’t. Either we both go for it or neither of us does it.” I crossed my arms decisively, heart beating fast in my chest as I tried to pretend I wasn’t on the verge of a panic attack. 

 

“But Dan you might actually  _ want  _ to do this. No part of me ever wants to become an actor.”

 

“Yeah, but you want to direct film! A director should understand what the other side is like so they know how to talk to their actors… right?”

  
“Well… yeah… but I don’t even know if I’m gonna try to do film.” Phil looked down at his hands, his fingers pulling at each other nervously. 

 

“Come on, please? I know I’ll regret it if I don’t take this class, and I know we’ll have fun doing it together. For me?” I asked, pouting and batting my eyelashes at Phil who looked up and sighed, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. 

 

“Fine. But if I hate it I’m dropping the class.”

 

“Deal!” I grinned, and we both checked the box that said ‘Acting Fundamentals’ on the sheets we had to request our classes for next quarter. 

 

“Also you have to buy me dinner tonight.” Phil added and I opened my mouth in indignation. 

 

“But we already made the agreement and wrote it down!”

 

“Yeah but I decided I want dinner too.”

 

“Fiiiine…” I groaned, because I didn’t  _ really  _ mind, and he  _ was _ taking a class he probably wouldn’t have if it weren’t for me. “I’ll just let Orion know I won’t be home for dinner.” I pulled out my phone and sent the text, sighing. Maybe a month ago Orion would have joined us, but now things were different. 

 

It wasn’t like there was any huge fight or anything was technically ‘wrong’, it’d just felt different since Phil and Orion had their spat, and now I sort of felt like the middle man. It’d been three weeks since then andt hey got along, sure, but it was clear that if I wasn’t there they wouldn’t be either. The only reason they spent time together was because of me, and to be honest it kind of sucked, but I tried not to let it bother me. 

 

“So where are we going?” I asked, bringing my hand to my pocket to make sure I had my wallet. Check. 

 

“I dunno. Maybe that burger place by the park?”

 

“Sounds great.” I grinned, my stomach rumbling at the thought of burgers. “Let’s go!”

 

Ten minutes later found us sliding into a booth and picking up our menus, even though we both knew we already knew what we were going to order. 

 

When the waiter came, sure enough, we ordered or regulars (we came here - usually with Orion - at least three times a month), sitting back in the booth as the waiter took our menus away. 

 

“So…” I began, feeling as if I were treading on hot coals with the subject I was about to bring up. “I uh… I talked to Orion. About everything that happened… you know, with Sarah?”

 

“Yeah?” Phil asked, and there was a hint of guardedness behind his eyes, but it wasn’t strong and I let out a small sigh of relief. 

 

“Yeah. I basically just talked to him and straightened him out - he’s just worried about you, but we talked and he agreed that it’s not fair for him to make a judgement about a girl he barely knows.”

 

Phil seemed to think for a moment, nodding slowly, before he looked up at me with a small smirk. 

 

“I don’t think there’s any way anyone could  _ straighten  _ Orion out.” He grinned and I frowned for a moment before getting the joke, rolling my eyes and smiling. 

 

“You’re an idiot.”

 

“ _ You’d  _ be the idiot if you were trying to ‘straighten him out.’” Phil made little quotes with his fingers, but he used his whole hands instead of just two fingers on each and I giggled, bringing my hand up to cover my mouth. 

 

“True, that may be just a bit counter-intuitive.”

 

We both fell into laughter and I let myself relax - I’d been worried about bringing the subject up with Phil, but that had gone well. He’d relaxed more around me lately and it was nice seeing more of his true colors rather than his normal guarded self. 

 

“Speaking of, how’s stuff going with you two?” He asked around a sip of water and I smiled, feeling my cheeks heat up a little. 

 

“It’s great.” I admitted, trying not to smile  _ too  _ idiotically. “I mean… We’re still taking things slow. I’m still kind of adjusting to the idea of being with a guy, but honestly he’s amazing and everything’s just… easy.”

 

“So you two haven’t…” Phil raised an eyebrow and my neck heated up as I reached across the table to smack his wrist lightly in protest.

 

“Hey!” I chuckled, shaking my head and hanging it to hide my blush. “No. No, we haven’t. I mean… we’ve done some stuff… but not  _ that. _ ” I admitted, trying not to let my mind take me back to three night’s previous when I’d first felt Orion’s mouth  _ there _ . The thought was fuzzy and full of warmth and pleasure but that wasn’t at all what I wanted to be thinking of now so I shook it off, clearing my throat and taking a sip of water. 

 

“You know…” Phil started, a smile tracing his lips and a sparkle in his eyes I didn’t quite trust.

 

“What?”

 

“That’s like… super gay.” Phil said pointedly and we both burst out laughing. Of course right then was when the waiter returned with our food and I had tears in my eyes as I laughed, apologizing in gasps to the waiter who just looked confused and excused himself quickly, only making Phil and I laugh harder. 

 

“Oh my god that wasn’t even  _ that  _ funny.” I gasped for air when the waiter left, wiping the tears from my eyes. 

 

“It’s all in the timing, Daniel.” Phil giggled and I rolled my eyes, my laughter slowing as I held a hand to my chest, breathing as I tried to regain my composure so I could eat. 

 

When our laughter had subsided, silence took over as we dug into our meals, broken only by small moans of appreciation for the burgers. 

 

“If I could only eat one thing for the rest of my life, I’d want it to be these burgers.” I groaned around a mouthful and Phil nodded in agreement. 

 

We ate and began to chat about theatre - about what we thought the class would be like and what we were excited and nervous about. 

 

“I just hope I don’t have to sing.” I mentioned and Phil nodded, taking a bite of his burger. 

 

“I just hope I’m not supposed to kiss anyone.”

 

“Aw come on, it’s just acting.” I shrugged and Phil’s eyes widened as he shook his head. 

 

“Oh no, Sarah would  _ never  _ be okay with that.” 

 

“Oh… right.” I mumbled, frowning a bit but trying not to let my reaction show on my face - I knew Phil was defensive of her, but… No. It was probably nothing. 

 

I paid for our meals and the waiter seemed relieved that we were leaving, only earning a few more muffled giggles from Phil and I as we exited the restaurant. 

 

“So… Phil… how did you know you were in love with Sarah?” I asked on our walk back, nervous to bring up the subject, but deciding that maybe if I knew more about her I could understand what Phil saw in her. 

 

“Oh… I don’t know. I guess it happened gradually.” He shrugged, not offering any more to the story. “Do you love Orion?” He asked after a short pause and I smiled, nodding at my feet as we walked. 

 

“Yeah. Yeah… I do.” 

 

“That’s good.” He smiled, and we walked the rest of the way in silence. 

 

“Hey, do you want to come over tonight?” I asked when we reached our hallway and he shrugged, shaking his head. 

 

“Thanks, but I’ve got some homework to do.” He must have seen my face fall a little - he’d been saying no more and more to plans whenever Orion was involved. “But hey - maybe tomorrow? All three of us can play Mario Kart maybe and get some pizza?”

 

“Yes please.” I grinned, relief washing over me. “Have a good night, and let me know if you finish your homework early.”

 

“Will do.” He agreed and I gave him a small smile before opening my door and stepping into my room. 

 

“Hey you.” Orion grinned from his spot on his bed, his laptop open on his lap.

 

“I love you so much.” I blurted out, surprising myself.

 

“Well I love you too.” Orion giggled, shoving his laptop to the side and patting the bed that I moved to swiftly, hopping up and curling up to Orion’s side, pressing a light kiss to his neck. “How was your dinner?”

 

“Good. It was nice to get to talk to Phil, and we both signed up for an acting class next quarter.”

 

“That’s great!” Orion beamed and I smiled back, hugging him tightly. 

 

“I wouldn’t have done it without your encouragement.”

 

“Well I’m glad I could be of help.” He murmured, his lips pressing firmly into my temple. We laid there in silence for a long time, his thumb tracing gentle lines over my arm as we just breathed together. 

 

“Orion?” I asked finally, biting my lip and tilting my head so he couldn’t see the blush creep up my neck and to my face.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I think I’m ready. For uh… sex, I mean. I think I’m ready for that.” I breathed out quickly, tightening my arms around him - because somehow even though I was terrified of asking him for this, he was also my support and safety net. How could it be that someone could both be the source of your fear, but also your safe place? Could that be what love was? 

 

When Orion just squeezed me back and pressed a kiss to my hair, I felt myself relax, a small smile tracing my lips as he breathed out his response.

 

“Okay.”


	14. Chapter 14

When I woke up tangled in Orion’s limbs, sweaty and naked, I smiled into the skin of his shoulder and released a long sigh. 

 

It hadn’t been perfect. It hadn’t been mindblowing or earth shattering or anything like that. But it’d been sweet. It’d been caring and a little awkward and funny and loving. It’d been bumping limbs and laughs that broke the mood. It’d been a lot of teaching on Orion’s part, and a lot of learning on mine. He’d helped me roll on the condom and he’d shown me how to prepare him, and I hadn’t really known what I was doing but he’d been patient, helping me through every step.

 

When it was over we’d cuddled and he’d brushed my hair out of my face, pressing kisses over my skin and telling me how much he cared for me and how beautiful I was. He’d told me how proud he was of me and I’d felt like I was melting.

 

I still felt like I was melting.

 

“Good morning.” The husky voice shook me out of my thoughts and I smiled as Orion blinked his eyes open and pulled me close, kissing my forehead and burying his face in my hair. 

 

“Morning.” I responded, my own voice just as scratchy. 

 

“Ugh, I really don’t want to go to class today.” Orion groaned and I chuckled, tilting my head up to press my lips underneath his jaw, grinning into the warm and slightly sweaty skin there.

 

“Then don’t.” I smiled and Orion looked down at me, warmth in his gaze. 

 

“Tempting…” He murmured, moving down on the bed, and then our lips met and I felt myself turn to jelly, wrapping around him as we moved together sleepily.

 

“...But I really do need to go. I’ve got a final today.” He whispered eventually and I pouted, kissing him once more. 

 

“Fiiineee….” I grumbled, but I was smiling and we both knew I didn’t really care. 

 

“God, you’re beautiful.” Orion smiled, and I couldn’t believe this rusty haired, beautifully freckled, pale green-eyed masterpiece was calling  _ me  _ beautiful. Okay, I definitely had morning-after brain. 

 

“Look who’s talking.” I responded with a smile and Orion chuckled, pulling me into a hug and shaking his head. 

 

“We’re absolutely disgusting, aren’t we?”

 

“Truly vomit-inducing.”

 

“Should probably never be allowed within a mile of one another.”

 

“If I saw us on the street I’d probably gauge my own eyes out.” I giggled and Orion sighed, kissing me on the forehead before pushing himself up and off the bed with a grunt. 

 

“Alright, alright, I’ve gotta get ready.” He announced and I turned to my side, watching him as he walked around the room gathering clothes. My gaze drifted down as he bent over by his dresser and he looked over his shoulder at me with a smirk. 

 

“What?” I asked, the picture of innocence on my face. 

 

“You’re checking me out.”

 

“Is that not allowed?”

 

“It’s encouraged.” He chuckled, then proceeded to make a show of bending over to get pants out of his bottom drawer, sending a wink over his shoulder, to which I let out a low whistle, making us both laugh. 

 

Soon he was dressed and I was getting out of bed, a little embarrassed by my nudity, but I made my way to my dresser and pulled on a fresh pair of boxers. 

 

“Have a good class.” I smiled, pulling Orion in for a hug and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. 

 

“God, we’re an old married couple, aren’t we?” He giggled, moving his head back and forth to make our noses bump together in an eskimo kiss. “Have a good day, I’ll see you tonight, sweetie!”

 

“Sweetie?” I asked, wrinkling my nose in disgust. 

 

“Honeybuns? Fruitcake? My Widdw Boo Beaw?” Orion giggled and I rolled my eyes, trying to keep my most serious face. 

 

“I only accept Princess Sugarpie and you should know this.”

 

“Right. Well I’ll see you tonight, Princess Sugarpie. Love you.” Orion gave me one last peck before letting go, slinging his backpack over his shoulder, and walking to the door. 

 

“Love you more!” I called after him, and he blew me one last kiss from the doorway before he was gone. 

 

Looking around me at the empty room I sighed, falling back onto my untouched bed, smiling up at the ceiling. Part of me wasn’t sure what I’d been so worried about and why I’d made us wait so long, but I knew in the end I was glad I did. I was glad we’d waited, and last night I’d been ready. 

 

Now I had an easy day with only one class in the afternoon, and then Phil was going to come over and we were all going to hang out. Life was headed in the right direction, and it felt like nothing could go wrong. 

 

After a while I got up and finished dressing, getting my stuff together for English class, and went to head down to the dining hall. On my way out I decided to stop by Phil’s and see if he wanted to get food together, since we’d be going to the same class in just a bit. 

 

Phil answered the door quickly, a small smile on his face. 

 

“Hey Dan, what’s up?”

 

“I’m just headed down to the dining hall before class - I wanted to know if you’d like to join.”

 

“I’d love to!” Phil grinned and I laughed a bit, surprised at how chipper he was being. 

 

“Someone’s in a good mood.” I observed with a smile and he shrugged, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. 

 

“Shut up.” He responded with an eye roll as we left, beginning to walk down the hall to head towards the dining hall. 

 

“No, but really. What’s gotten you so chipper this morning?” I asked and he shrugged, a bit of the smile falling from his face as he looked down at the phone in his hands then shoved it in his pocket. 

 

“I don’t know. I’m not actually that - I’m fine. Like - nothing’s wrong… Sarah just told me that I’d seemed grumpy lately and we talked about how sometimes I can give off the wrong impression of how I’m feeling. I’m just trying not to be so awkward and standoffish I guess.”

 

“Oh.” I responded, unsure of how exactly to take that. “Well… you never have to act like you’re feeling something you’re not around me, you know that, right?”

 

“Yeah, of course. It’s not acting - it’s just trying to be more aware of what vibe I’m giving off, I guess.”

 

“Right. Well that’s cool, I suppose. We could all be more self-aware.”

 

“Yeah, exactly.” Phil agreed with a smile - and this time it seemed like a much more natural one. 

 

We ended up just grabbing pre-made wraps at the dining hall and taking them to class, getting there early and chatting before people arrived. 

 

Once class did start it was filled with exchanged looks whenever Mrs. Flint would do something, followed by Phil and I trying not to lose our shit as we both held in laughter. 

 

When class finished I shot Orion a text to let him know we were coming over, and we packed up our bags and headed back to the room. I could tell Phil was a bit apprehensive and I shot him what I hoped would be a comforting smile. 

 

“Hey. He’s not gonna bother you, okay? I’ve talked to him - we’re both happy you have someone who makes you happy, and we trust that you’d know if something was off. We just want to hang out, okay?”

 

“Okay.” Phil agreed, looking relieved, and I smiled, beyond happy that this boy was opening up to me more and more, and I could  _ feel  _ the increase of trust between us. Progress was being made, and it made me feel warm with happiness.


	15. Chapter 15

It wasn’t awkward. It wasn’t. At least that’s what I kept telling myself as I sat between Phil and Orion, watching the Office in strangely formal feeling silence. Orion’s arm was around my waist and our sides were fit snugly together as Phil sat about a foot to my left, wringing his fingers together as he watched the show. 

 

Now and again I’d laugh at something on the show and they’d join in, but it felt forced, and the tension was building in me until I just couldn’t take it anymore and I reached for the remote, pausing the show and separating from Orion, scooting forward and turning around so I could look at both of them while I spoke. 

 

“Alright I’m done. This awkward shit ends now. Phil, your girlfriend said some shit about us that wasn’t okay. She made a judgement about us without knowing us, and when you considered her being right for a moment, Orion you got offended, which is totally understandable. Orion - I get that you were upset, but you did the exact same thing Sarah did. You made a snap judgement about her without knowing her well enough, and it’s completely valid that Phil got offended when you insulted the girl he loves. Now can we all just agree to be open-minded and not judge people? Can we just leave this shit in the past and be normal again?” I asked, and I could tell my exhaustion with the subject showed through my tone, but at this point I didn’t care. 

 

Orion and Phil just stared at me for a moment, then looked at each other, both looking a little embarrassed and like children who just got scolded. 

 

“Yeah… Yeah, we can. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Phil, I know you love Sarah, and I know I don’t know her well enough to be saying she’s bad for you. I’ve said this all to Dan, but I should have said it to you, and I’m sorry I didn’t sooner.” Orion admitted and I smiled, reaching out to squeeze his hand in gentle appreciation. We both looked to Phil who looked down and nodded, blushing a little. 

 

“I… uh… I’m sorry too. I never should have listened to what she said about you guys. I knew it wasn’t true and I should have been clearer with her about that - I don’t know - for a moment I let what she said take over what I know about you guys, and that’s not fair. You’ve never done anything that’s made me question your motives, and I shouldn’t have doubted you then.”

 

“Thanks.” Orion smiled and Phil nodded, smiling back.

 

“Well there we go. Can this just be sorted now and can we move on? I want my best friends back.”

 

“Best  _ friends? _ ” Phil asked with a smirk, looking pointedly between me and Orion and I rolled my eyes, smiling. 

 

“Hey just because we’re sleeping together doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.” Orion shot back with a grin and Phil’s eyebrows raised, looking back to me. 

 

“Sleeping together? I thought you said the other day…”

 

“Yeah… uh… it’s a recent progression.” I blushed, looking to Orion and then the ground, biting my lip as I felt my neck heat up. 

 

“You talked about our sex life?” Orion asked impotently, but I could hear there was a smile behind his voice.

 

“I…” I scrambled in my mind for an excuse but ended up sighing, shaking my head. “Yeah.” I spoke defeatedly and both Phil and Orion burst into laughter that I soon joined, blushing hard. 

 

Luckily, this seemed to serve as the exact mood-lightener we all needed, and soon we were laughing, turning the show back on and talking over it as if nothing had ever happened. 

 

When it got late and Phil excused himself with smiles to head back to his room, Orion and I got ready for sleep, brushing teeth and stripping down to our boxers. 

 

“Thank you. For everything with Phil today.” I whispered as we lay together on his bed, his fingers slowly and gently stroking up and down my arm. 

 

“Of course. Thank you for pushing us to fix it.”

 

“Don’t mention it.” I smiled, and we drifted slowly to sleep. 

 

The next morning it was Friday, and I went about my day like usual, more than ready for the weekend. My last class was still early in the day - English with Phil - and we decided to hang out for a while while Orion was still in classes. We were going to go grab burgers and bring them back to watch the Office as we waited for Orion. He’d said he would get a bottle or two of wine before coming home and we were gonna drink tonight to celebrate the weekend. 

 

The burger portion of the trip worked out fine, Phil and I chatting easily about classes and nonsense. Where it went wrong was the way back, when Phil got a phone call and frowned, looking at his phone. 

 

“Hey Dan uh… sorry it’s Sarah. I’ve got to take this.”

 

“Don’t worry about it.” I smiled reassuringly, walking beside Phil as he answered the phone. 

 

“Hey sweetie, what’s up?” Phil asked, his voice changing a bit as he spoke into his phone. “Yeah, I’m just walking back to the dorms. Dan and I got burgers….. I… no. We’re just gonna watch a show. Yes, they’re my friends. No, he hasn’t.” Phil’s voice became a little more hushed, and he seemed to be getting annoyed but I pretended not to notice, looking at the ground in front of us as we walked. “Sarah just - Yes, I love you. Of course I love you, what are you talking about? I… Sarah I’ve got to go. I can’t do this right now. What do you mean  _ I’m  _ making this a bigger deal than it needs to be?” I looked over in surprise at how heated this was getting, Phil’s face red with anger. Suddenly, though, his expression softened entirely. 

 

“Sweetie I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to snap. I love you. I do. I know distance is hard - maybe you can come visit again sometime soon?” I tried not to cringe at the thought, not  _ wanting  _ to taste bile at the possibility of Sarah visiting again. “Okay. Yes. Yeah. I love you more. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? Huh? But I - okay, yeah. Okay. I won’t, I promise. I love you too, bye.” Phil sighed, hanging up. 

 

“Phil…” I started, unsure where I was going and nervous to say anything about the subject, but unable to make myself keep quiet. 

 

“Dan… don’t. Please?” Phil asked, and the sadness and desperation in his eyes had me looking away and nodding, heat rising to my cheeks. Whether it was out of frustration or embarrassment for bringing up the subject, I didn’t quite know. 

 

We walked in silence for a long time until Phil finally sighed and broke it, not looking at me while he spoke. 

 

“We got together a little over two years ago. We… we’d been pretty good friends for a few months before. I was going through… a hard time… and she was there for me. She helped me through it and we got together. I fell for her hard, Dan. She saved me. No one’s ever cared about me as much as she does - she’s beautiful, and loving, and I know she’s been a bit off lately but I promise she’s a good person. She’s nice. She cares about me and I love her.”

 

“Phil… I’m not saying you shouldn’t be with her…” I started cautiously, biting my lip. “...But just because someone helps you through something doesn’t mean you have any obligation to them in return. Just remember that… okay?”

 

“It’s not an obligation, Dan, I love her!” 

 

“Okay.” I conceded, raising my hands in defense. “I’m not saying you don’t. Just… take care of yourself, okay? And if you need someone to talk to…”

 

I watched as Phil visibly relaxed, sighing as his shoulders drooped, nodding. 

 

“Yeah… thanks. Sorry I know I can get snappy about this subject.”

 

“It’s completely understandable.” I smiled and he nodded as we approached my door, walking in and taking out our burgers as we settled down to eat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a few days! Life is crazy :P Please let me know all your thoughts in the comments :D


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a few days! But here's a new chapter :D

When Orion returned he held up two bottles of wine and I felt my entire being light up, grinning as I stood to meet him and take the bottles, smiling as I read over the labels. 

 

“Oh we’re gonna have a  _ good  _ night.” I enthused as Phil paused the show, smiling and coming up to meet us, peering over my shoulder at the wines. 

 

“So… I got a wrap at the store where I bought these and ate it on the way here, looks like you guys have eaten…” Orion mentioned, gesturing towards the remains of burgers on wrappers littering the floor where Phil and I had been watching the Office. “So… start drinking now?”

 

“How about YES!” I beamed and we all chuckled as I grabbed a bottle opener from my desk drawer, uncorking the first bottle of red. I pulled out three mugs and filled them generously, handing one to everyone as we settled back in front of the TV. We were positioned how we always were - Phil to my left, me in the center, Orion to my right. He sat so our legs connected gently but that was all, since he was preoccupied with drinking from his mug. 

 

“Wait, wait, wait!” He spluttered suddenly, licking his lips to clean them of the wine he’d been sipping. “Let’s not just drink! Let’s play a drinking game!” 

 

“Yes!” I agreed enthusiastically, looking to Phil for confirmation who just nodded and laughed, his eyes crinkled up in amusement. 

 

“Alright… what about… every time Jim looks to the camera you take a sip?” Orion suggested and I took out my phone, opening up a new note and writing it down. 

 

“Got it. What about… if Dwight screams ‘MICHAEL!”?”

 

“Whenever someone mentions Angela’s cats!”

 

“Anytime Creed says something unexpected!”

 

“So… every time Creed speaks?”

 

We all burst out laughing as I jotted it down. Soon we’d come up with far too many but we didn’t care, sitting back and pointing things out as they happened, sipping our wine until we all ran out and had to pour new glasses, finishing off the first bottle and filling our mugs to the brim. 

 

At this point we were all giggly, and I could feel my face was heating up with the buzz of the alcohol. When I moved my head too quickly my vision blurred a bit and I let myself sink into it, smiling. 

 

Orion was sleepy tipsy and he’d spun around so he was laying on his stomach, sipping on his wine. 

 

Phil was the biggest lightweight of us all but I could tell he was trying to hide it. It was clear, though, when his eyes didn’t quite track movement and he’d try to respond to something several seconds after its occurrence. He was swaying a bit but it wasn’t too bad and I got to my feet, feeling a new wave hit me with the change in elevation and giving myself a moment before moving to the sink and filling up a huge water bottle, bringing it back and chugging some before handing it to Phil who nodded thankfully and gulped some down. 

 

“You feeling alright there?” I giggled as he set the water down, eyes wide and lips wet as a bit of water dribbled down to his chin. 

 

“‘M great.” He grinned up at me, his response coming a bit too late to feel natural but I laughed it off, my face feeling hot. Phil sighed and pulled his knees to his chest, bringing his hands up to ruffle his hair, breaking it out of its normal helmet-like perfectly gelled style. 

 

“Whoa, Phil’s getting wild!” I teased and he rolled his eyes, grabbing his wine and taking another sip. 

 

“Shut up - it was giving me a headache. Feels better like this.” He mumbled, his hair falling gently, swaying over his forehead in a half-quiff. 

 

“Why don’t you wear it like that more often then?” I asked and he shrugged, taking another sip of wine. 

 

“Sarah likes it like this.”

 

His comment hung in the air for a few seconds and Orion sighed, pushing himself off the ground. 

 

“I’m gonna sleep now. Don’t worry about being quiet, I think I could sleep through an earthquake right now.” Orion mumbled, and sure enough seconds later he was snoring gently and Phil and I laughed, shaking our heads. 

 

The laughter died after a moment and I sighed, leaning back against the wall. 

 

“Phil… why do you always do what Sarah tells you to? I mean… you know it’s alright to disagree with her, right?”

 

Phil looked down at his glass and shrugged before raising it to his lips once more and taking a long and slow drink. 

 

“I guess… I don’t know. It’s not worth an argument for me. And she’s usually right I think, so…”

 

“Well I personally think your hair looks worlds better like this.” I smiled and Phil looked up at me in surprise before smiling back and looking down to the carpet, pinching it between his fingers. 

 

“Thanks.” He spoke gently and I smiled, grabbing the remote and resuming the show that somewhere along the way one of us had paused. 

 

“No more of the drinking game. Let’s just watch.” I suggested and he nodded, smiling and scooting back to lean against the wall with me. 

 

As we sat there I couldn’t get Sarah out of my mind - all the red flags, all the warning signs, everything that made me worried that Phil was in a bad situation but that I was too afraid to bring up. My mind was getting foggy and I opened my mouth, unsure of what I was going to say but knowing I had to say  _ something _ . I took a breath in to speak, turning my head to look at Phil, and the unformed words got caught in my throat and died. 

 

I immediately turned off the TV, and the lack of sound made even more clear what I hadn’t noticed till looking over. Phil had his knees up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them and was crying quietly, wiping his nose with his wrist every few seconds. 

 

“Phil-” I whispered, eyes wide in surprise as I scooted closer and reached out an arm to gently rub his back, getting his attention. This just made him cry harder and then he was tipping over, falling into me as his gentle crying became sobbing, him balling up my shirt in his fist and crying into it as I wrapped my arms around him and stroked his back soothingly, my face buried in his hair. My mind was still muddy from the alcohol and I couldn’t quite grasp what was happening, merely shocked and concerned for my friend. 

 

“I… Dan, I don’t know what to do.” Phil cried, his grip on my shirt tightening. “It’s bad. It’s so bad but I can’t get out of it. The minute I talk to her - the second I see her - I just can’t.” Phil gasped out and my heart pulled painfully. “I feel so… helpless. I’m so sorry I shut you down when you’ve been trying to help, but I just… I have to stay with her. I don’t know… I can’t… She’d be so mad…” Phil was beginning to choke as he gasped out his words and I rubbed his back, ‘shhh’ing quietly and he nodded into my chest, wrapping his arms back around me and hugging tight.

 

We sat there for a long time as his sobs settled down and he was able to breathe again and my eyes went wide when I realized his breathing had evened out and his weight had gone dead in my arms. He’d fallen asleep and I didn’t have the heart to move him, so I just leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes, hoping that in the morning he’d remember and we could actually talk.


	17. Chapter 17

When I woke up, it was to the feeling of something being draped over me. I blinked awake, shifting slightly because I was mostly sitting up and my back was at a funny angle. My vision cleared to notice that it was still the middle of the night - the only light in the room provided by moonlight seeping in through the blinds. I looked up to see Orion standing over me, adjusting a blanket over me and Phil - who I only now was beginning to realize was clung to my side, nestled under my arm and into my chest where he was breathing softly. 

 

My eyes went wide and I looked back up to Orion - aware that someone in his position probably had the right to be at least a little suspicious or annoyed, but he just smiled and leaned in, pressing his lips to my forehead and I relaxed, smiling back as he pulled away. 

 

“I love you. Get some sleep - I’m gonna go out and run some errands in the morning, so if I’m gone that’s why. Take care of him… okay?” 

 

“Okay. I love you too.” I grinned, tilting my chin up to ask for a kiss which he gave immediately, smiling against my lips and pulling back, reaching up to move a curl off my forehead. 

 

“Do you want help? Are you uncomfortable? I’m sure we could move you two, but if it’s alright there it might be better to just let him sleep.” Orion suggested and I nodded. I wasn’t all that uncomfortable - and anyways, I could feel what was the start of a hangover and not a muscle in my body wanted to move. 

 

“I’m alright. It’s not so bad. Maybe just - toss me my pillow?” I asked and Orion got up, grabbing my pillow and helping me position it between my back and the wall, then he got another for my neck. 

 

“Sweet dreams, love.” Orion whispered, leaning in for one more peck and then he was back on his bed breathing deeply and I allowed my neck to bend, my head resting forward and on top of Phil’s, my face buried in slightly prickly hair - crusted hard from the gel in places, but mostly soft. I was too tired to care, though, and soon I was out like a light.

 

Waking up the second time was harder. The light streaming in from the window was blinding, my stomach felt like a stone was resting at the bottom of it, and my head was throbbing. I was sweaty too - the heat of not just one, but two people under the blanket caused curls to cling to my forehead, and looking down I saw that Phil was in a similar state, a sheen of sweat covering his skin. 

 

He was still asleep so I just rested my head back against the pillow between my neck and the wall, groaning quietly and squeezing my eyes shut, willing my hangover away, but to no prevail. 

 

I sat there for god knows how long - Phil was asleep and Orion was gone, and all I could do was try not to focus on my hangover, instead counting as I breathed in and out.

 

Eventually Phil began to stir and I bent my body to be able to look at him as he blinked slowly, scrunching his nose up in displeasure.

 

“Slept with my contacts in.” He mumbled, his voice low and scratchy. “One sec.” On wobbly legs he stood, got his bearings, and disappeared into our joint bathroom, returning after just a few moments wearing black-rimmed glasses. 

 

“I like the glasses.” I smiled and he shrugged, a frown on his face as he came to sit back down against the wall, this time holding himself up and putting a few inches of space between the two of us. 

 

“They’re annoying, but whatever.”

 

“Well they look good.” I smiled, trying to gauge his mood, hoping to be the uplifting presence in the room, because I really didn’t think my current physical state could handle intensity at the moment. 

 

“No they don’t, you don’t have to say that.”

 

“No… they do.” I responded, confused.

 

“Whatever.” Phil grumbled, burying his face in his arms as he raised his knees to his chin. 

 

“Phil - did someone tell you they don’t look good?” I asked after a moment, and there were a few seconds’ silence as Phil slowly raised his head and looked at me with a frown, making anxiety began to bubble in my stomach. 

 

“They just look bad.” He finally responded before laying his head back down in his arms and I sighed, mimicking his posture and wrapping my arms around my legs, hugging them close. 

 

We sat in silence for a long time before I finally sighed and got up, getting two glasses of water and a bottle of ibuprofen. 

 

“Here. This’ll help.” I handed him his glass and the bottle which he took, downing the pills with a gulp. I followed, wincing as the pills got caught in my throat but I chugged water and they eventually went down.

 

“Phil…” I started finally, unsure how to breach the subject, but knowing the tension in the air wouldn’t dissipate until I found a way to bring it up.

 

“Can we not talk about it?” He interrupted and I stopped, looking at him. He raised his head slowly and finally met my gaze, his eyes pleading with me. “Please… just… I was drunk. What I said… can we just forget it?”

 

“Phil….” I started, my heart wrenching.

 

“Please.” He whispered and I caved, nodding. 

 

“Okay. Okay, we don’t have to talk about it right now. But Phil… I do want to talk sometime soon. It doesn’t have to be this morning, but…” I trailed off and he sighed, burying his face back down in his arms. 

 

“I just… I wasn’t thinking straight. Yeah, things can be hard. But I love her. I do. Sometimes when you love someone you have to make sacrifices....”

 

“Phil… there’s a difference between making a sacrifice and changing who you are.”

 

“I don’t change who I am. I just try to do what she wants. If it doesn’t inconvenience me too much, then why shouldn’t I?”

 

“But Phil… when’s the last time she did something like that for you? There’s a clear power imbalance here.”

 

“She makes sacrifices for me too. I mean… she came out here to see me. She uh…” He trailed off slowly and I bit my lip, sighing. 

 

“We don’t have to talk about it now. But just know that I’m here and you can always talk to me, okay?”

 

“Yeah… okay.” He responded eventually, and I could hear the tightness in his throat. “Thanks, Dan. I… I’m really glad I know you.”

 

“I’m glad I know you too.” I smiled. “Now let’s order some food and play Mario Kart, yeah?” I grinned, because there was too much negativity in the air and we needed something lighter. Phil looked up from his arms and I saw in his face that he knew what I was doing, and he was grateful for it. 

 

“That sounds amazing. Thank you.”

 

I smiled back before calling in and ordering us food, then turning on the playstation and loading up our game. 


	18. Chapter 18

Weeks passed, and everything seemed back to normal. That is, until one night when I was home alone (Orion had gone home for the weekend to visit family), I heard Phil talking particularly loudly through our shared wall, frowning. It sounded like he was angry, but I couldn’t hear another voice so chances were he was on the phone with someone. 

 

What surprised me even more was the knock on the bathroom door a few moments later. I got up and opened the door, eyes going wide as I saw a disheveled Phil on the other side, arms wrapped around himself and tears streaking down his face as he quickly tried to wipe them away with his sleeve, sniffling. He somehow looked tiny, even though he was over six feet tall, and my jaw dropped slightly, feeling entirely unprepared. 

 

“Phil…” I whispered, unsure what to say and he sniffled, wiping away some snot with his sleeve. 

 

“I want to dye my hair.” He stated and my eyes widened even farther, that being the last thing I’d expected him to say in the moment. 

 

“Oh… um… okay yeah, sure. Do you want to go to a salon? All of them are probably closed now, but-”

 

“No. I just - can we just go to a store and get some boxed dye? Could you do it?”

 

“Oh. Yeah I mean… are you sure? I’ve never dyed someone’s hair before…”

 

“I don’t care. Just… please? Can we do this?”

 

“Yeah. Right. Okay.” I agreed, looking around and patting the pockets of my sweatpants as I tried to get my bearings. “Here, let me just throw on a jacket….” I grabbed a jacket from my chair, then looking back to Phil who was stood shivering in a thin shirt, grabbed another and tossed it to him. Getting my keys off my desk I returned and smiled at him, feeling a little awkward and not knowing what to do with myself, but just wanting to help. “You ready?”

 

“Let’s go.” He agreed, and soon we were walking. The walk to the corner store was silent and when we got there he went straight for the black hair dye, checking out at the register and then we were headed back. 

 

“So… black?”

 

“Yeah.” He mumbled, turning the box over in his hands. 

 

“What made you want to make the change?”

 

“I dunno. Just… yeah.” He muttered and I nodded, not wanting to press the subject. 

 

When we got back we went straight to the bathroom and he mixed the dye, sitting down on a chair he brought over from his room. I put on the gloves from the box and got to work. It seemed pretty simple - the instructions basically just said to make sure I covered everything and there was far more hair dye than Phil probably needed for how long his hair was, so I mostly just dumped it on and squished it around, massaging the dye into his hair and piecing through it to make sure I got every bit.

 

After about ten minutes of that we had to sit for half an hour. We made some small talk but no one addressed the elephant in the room. I didn’t want to pry and Phil didn’t seem ready to share whatever was going on so we just sat there in one another’s company until it was time for Phil to shower and I left to give him privacy, laying down on my bed and opening my phone and clicking on the messages between Orion and I. 

 

**_D: hey. dont tell him i told you but phils over and i think somethings up. he was shouting on the phone and then came over and wanted me to dye his hair_ **

 

**_O: Dye his hair? Did you do it?_ **

 

**_D: ya hes showering now. idk he was crying when he came over and i havent figured out how to ask whats up. should i leave it or should i ask him whats going on?_ **

 

**_O: I’d say give him some time to bring it up but don’t let him go home for the night without asking. So give him time but ask eventually. I’m sure you can judge it, though, you two are really good friends :)_ **

 

**_D: yeah… thanks <3 do you think itd be ok for me to offer your bed to him for tonight? or if you dont want him to i could sleep in your bed and give him mine? idk if he should be alone tonight_ **

 

**_O: Of course <3 How are you doing?_ **

 

**_D: im ok. i miss you <3 lets have a date night when you get back ok?_ **

 

**_O: That sounds incredible <3 <3 <3 And I miss you too. Somehow even though we live together I feel like we haven’t gotten to spend much time alone together lately. Whenever we are alone one of us has homework or we’re too tired to take advantage of it._ **

 

He was right. We hadn’t really just spent time together in… a long time. I smiled a little sadly at my phone, wishing Orion was here right now. 

 

**_D: i wish you were here right now <3_ **

 

**_O: Me too. But I think it’s good that you’re there for Phil right now. He trusts you more than me, and I think he needs you right now more than we need each other._ **

 

**_D: maybe_ **

 

**_O: Love you <3_ **

 

**_D: love you more <3 <3 <3_ **

 

**_O: Impossible :D <3 <3 <3 <3 <3_ **

 

**_D: fine you win. but just this once because the water just turned off so i think ive gotta go, phil will be back any second._ **

 

**_O: Good luck <3 and sweet dreams :)_ **

 

**_D: thank you <3 love you, night <3_ **

 

**_O: Night <3 <3 <3_ **

 

I set my phone down, sighing and trying to ignore the gentle ache in my heart. I really did miss Orion - he’d only left this morning, but I hadn’t realized how little time we’d actually spent together lately and suddenly all I wanted was to be in his arms. 

 

I shook that off, though, as Phil stepped back into the room in fresh clothes, his glasses resting on his nose and a hand running through his hair that kept flopping in his face. 

 

“PHIL!” I grinned, getting off my bed and walking up to him, reaching out. “Can I touch it?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” He responded and I ran my fingers through the pitch black locks, my mouth wide in a smile. 

 

“What do you think?” I asked and he shrugged, looking at the ground. 

 

“I dunno. It’s probably not good. It’ll make me look like a ghost - I’m already pale enough.”

 

“Are you kidding? I love it! With your blue eyes? Phil it’s stunning!” I grinned, looking at him encouragingly. It earned me something, surprisingly, as Phil’s lips quirked up in a small smile and he raised his eyebrows hopefully. 

 

“You really think so?”

 

“I absolutely love it.” I confirmed and he smiled, looking over at the mirror in my room then at the ground, his grin growing. 

 

“I kinda love it too.” He admitted and I stepped forward, pulling him into a hug. “Phil… I don’t know what’s going on… but I’m proud of you.” I whispered and I felt him slowly relax into the hug, hugging me back after a moment. 

 

“Thanks. Me too I think.” He agreed and I smiled before pulling away and looking at him, trying to gauge how he was doing. 

 

“Now are you alright? You can stay here tonight if you want - I don’t know what’s up but I don’t know if you should be alone tonight…”

 

“Um… yeah, are you sure that’d be okay?”

 

“Of course. You can take Orion’s bed. I already messaged him and he said it’s fine.”

 

“Alright. Thank you, Dan.” Phil smiled and I smiled back, reaching up to ruffle his hair once more so it fell across his forehead in a fringe which he frowned at, pushing it back out of his eyes into a quiff. 

 

We made our way to bed, and I turned on my side to face Phil across the room. I could just barely make out in the moonlight that he’d done the same. 

 

“Phil-” I started, planning on just saying goodnight, but he cut me off before I could.

 

“Dan I need to talk to you about Sarah.” His words cut through the air like a knife and I sat there in silence for a moment before pushing myself up so I was sitting, leaning back against my wall and facing him. 

 

“Alright.” 


	19. Chapter 19

“I don’t know how to say no to her.” Phil admitted quietly from the bed on the other side of the room and I nodded, grateful that he was finally opening up about the struggles in he and Sarah’s relationship. “That’s the only problem - everything would be okay if I could just figure that out. It’s my fault, not hers - that’s why I get angry when people talk about our relationship like she’s the problem. It’s not her - I just love her and want to do what she wants, so sometimes I let myself… I dunno. Be a doormat.”

 

“Well have you tried saying no to her?” I asked and he shrugged, brushing his newly dark locks up and off his forehead.

 

“Once or twice - but I didn’t go about it in the right way.”

 

“Can you give me an example?”

 

“I dunno. Just… she’ll say something and I’ll try to disagree but she shuts me down really fast. I guess I just need to stand my ground better or…”

 

“No, Phil, she should be listening to you. It’s not your fault if she isn’t respecting what you say and just bulldozing over your opinions.”

 

“I… yeah… no, you’re right.” Phil whispered finally, hanging his head. “I just… Dan, I don’t know what to do.” I heard his voice catch in his throat and got out of my bed, making my way to his. When he moved to give me room, sitting up and leaning against the wall, I joined him, sitting just a few inches away. “I just… we got into an argument, and I never know how to stand up for myself but for  _ once  _ I was trying, and… Dan I think she might be coming here and I just don’t know what to do if I see her right now.”

 

“You think she might be coming here?” I asked, anxiety beginning to bubble deep within my stomach. 

 

“I… I don’t know. She said something about coming down here and then we just kept arguing and then I… I hung up. She’s gonna be so mad. I turned off my phone, she’s probably tried to call or text me so many times, but… I just can’t deal with her right now.” Phil broke here, sobs escaping his throat as he buried his face in his knees and I moved to sit beside him, leaning back against the wall and gently stroking his back, my stomach in knots. 

 

“Phil… you know that you’re in  _ no  _ way obligated to do anything for Sarah… right? If she’s making your life harder… Phil, it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to say goodbye.”

 

“But I… I love her.” Phil choked out and I physically felt my heart strain, completely lost as to how to help my friend. 

 

“Phil… you might love her… but I don’t think she loves you. You don’t treat someone you love the way that she treats you. I…” I took a deep breath, knowing this was a big claim to make, but needing to say it. “I think she might be abusive, Phil. 

 

“No.” He interrupted immediately, shaking his head. “She can’t be. That’s not possible.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because - Because - I mean she’s not violent. She doesn’t hit me.”

 

“You don’t need to hit someone to hurt them, Phil… there are other kinds of abuse…”

 

“But she just wants what’s best for me! Everything she does is to make me into the person she sees potential for me to be…”

 

“Phil…” I whispered, biting my lip. “Phil, she shouldn’t be trying to  _ make  _ you into anything. If you want to change that’s up to you, but she shouldn’t be trying to change you.”

 

“But… but she’s a girl!” Phil finally spoke and we both froze, the room falling silent. Phil slowly raised his head to look at me, and I could see in his wide eyes the realization that was passing. 

 

“Oh my god.” He whispered finally, tears welling up in his eyes. “Oh my god.” He repeated and I barely had to raise my arms for him to lean into me, allowing himself to be wrapped in a hug as sobs began to shake his body. 

 

“I - I can’t believe - I can’t believe I said that. I can’t believe - I thought that. I knew - I know-” His words were chopped up by hiccups and sobs and I just sat there holding him, stroking his back as his fingers clawed at my shirt, pinching my skin but I ignored it, allowing him to feel everything in that moment. 

 

“She - oh my god Dan - it’s - you’re right. She’s - she’s… She -” Phil cut off, cries becoming louder and I squeezed him tight.

 

“Shhh… shh…. It’s okay. I’m right here, I’ve got you. Everything’s gonna be okay.” I spoke as calmly and soothingly as I could, trying to ignore the tightness in my own throat and the tears threatening to spill over, keeping myself together for Phil. 

 

“Dan… I… I didn’t… I don’t… Dan, what do I do?” Phil asked and I sighed, burying my face in his hair and squeezing him tight, wishing that I could just make all this pain disappear. 

 

“Right now? You get some rest. You try to relax, and you keep your phone off.” I spoke eventually, cursing myself as my voice cracked a bit and a tear spilled over, wiping it away quickly with my sleeve. “Tomorrow we’ll face the rest. All you have to do is remember that I’m here for you - each and every step of the way, okay? We’ll get you out of this. Phil… whatever you need, I’m here.”

 

“But…”

 

“Shhh…” I whispered, finally pulling away and looking him in his eyes, giving a bittersweet smile and reaching up to wipe away his tears and push his dark hair off his forehead. “Don’t argue tonight. Try not to think about it right now, okay? We can save the worrying for tomorrow.”

 

“Okay.” He finally whispered. 

 

I tucked him into bed and gave him one last awkward standing/laying down hug before returning to my own bed. Soon Phil’s breathing evened out and I knew he was asleep. I, however, was wide awake and opened my phone, clicking on a new message from Orion. 

 

**_O: Hey <3_ **

 

**_D: hey you <3_ **

 

**_O: How’s your night going?_ **

 

**_D: kinda intense. just stuff with phil - but i think its for the better. right nows hard but i think things are about to turn around_ **

 

**_O: That’s incredible to hear :)_ **

 

**_D: yeah :) how is it being back home?_ **

 

**_O: Good… a little weird. My family decided to throw a surprise party for me tonight - just a gathering of some of my old friends. Liam was here and we just… had an intense conversation I guess._ **

 

**_D: yeah? are you okay?_ **

 

**_O: Yeah, I’m fine. I just told him that we were together… he asked me when it had happened. He was just a little hurt about how quickly it all happened. He’s not mad and everything’s fine, I guess I just felt a little guilty :(_ **

 

**_D: yeah :( im sorry :( is there anything i can do?_ **

 

**_O: I don’t think so. Thank you though <3_ **

 

**_D: how was that for you? seeing liam? i know you still loved him when you moved here… and it hasn’t been that long_ **

 

**_O: Dan… do you really want to talk about this?_ **

 

**_D: of course <3 i feel secure in our relationship. im not worried about hearing about whats going on with you <3_ **

 

**_O: I… yeah, it was a little weird. I mean, I definitely don’t love him anymore. But it’s not like we ever had some huge breakup, so I guess… I don’t know. It felt kinda bittersweet? Like I was glad to see him and it was nice to be around him, but also a part of me… idk. Sorry if this is weird to hear, but I guess a part of me misses him. I didn’t really realize until I saw him._ **

 

**_D: that’s not weird at all <3 in fact id think it was weird if you didn’t <3_ **

 

**_O: How did I find the most perfect, understanding boyfriend in the world? <3_ **

 

**_D: im really not. i think that’s you. im just taking notes :)_ **

 

**_O: I love you <3 so much <3_ **

 

**_D: i love you too <3 even more <3_ **

 

**_O: Impossible._ **

 

**_O: Hey - take care of Phil, okay? I wish I could help but I won’t be back for a few days… give him a hug for me and be there for him, alright?_ **

 

**_D: of course <3 _ **

 

**_O: I think I’m gonna sleep. It was a long day and I have a headache :\_ **

 

**_D: okay <3 ily <3 sweet dreams <3_ **

 

**_O: love you mostest <3 ;) night_ **

 

I rolled my eyes, smiling at my phone, and clicked off the screen, plunging myself into darkness where I fell asleep after several minutes spent wondering and worrying about what possibilities tomorrow might bring. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful group of readers as I have in you guys <3 thank you so much for everything <3
> 
> and let me know - what do you think of where this story is going? :D What do you think might happen tomorrow? Do you trust Orion? :D Please - your comments are what inspires and feeds my creativity :D


	20. Chapter 20

When I woke up Phil was still asleep so I grabbed two packets of microwavable oatmeal and began cooking them, as well as brewing some coffee. I smiled when I heard stirring and looked over to see Phil sitting up and rubbing his eyes, yawning. 

 

“Are you making food?” He asked, voice scratchy from sleep. 

 

“Yeah, oatmeal and coffee. I made some for you if you want any.”

 

“Oh my god you’re incredible.” Phil groaned and I chuckled, bringing him his food and drink before getting mine and sitting back on my bed, digging into my breakfast.

 

“How are you feeling?” I asked after a few moments of silence as we ate. Phil sighed and put his spoon down in his oatmeal, leaning against the wall behind him on the bed and shrugging. 

 

“I don’t know. Tired. Confused. Part of me wants to pretend like yesterday never happened but part of me is really glad it did. I just… I think I need time to think things through.”

 

“It’s a lot to come to terms with.” I agreed and he looked down, shaking his head. 

 

“I mean… I’m still not entirely sure how bad…” He trailed off and I looked up sadly, letting out a long breath.

 

“Phil… what happened in the movie theatre that day? That was not okay. That incident by itself was abuse - so whatever you’re about to say - just remember that you’re totally justified in calling her abusive. You’re not a bad person for labeling her behavior for what it is. I know you still have feelings for her, and you probably want to find ways to excuse her behavior. And I know you probably feel guilty about the thought of accusing her of that. But you don’t need to. She should be the one struggling with all of this, not you.” 

 

Phil sat in silence for a while and I looked down, cheeks heating up as I reprimanded myself for essentially lecturing him first thing in the morning. 

 

“I’m sorry. It’s early, I shouldn’t be bringing all this up.” I apologized but looked up in surprise when Phil cut me off.

 

“No. It’s good. Thank you. You’re… um…” He was looking down at his fingers which were somewhat violently tugging on one another before he began wringing his wrists. “You’re right.” He finally spoke. “I do feel guilty about saying she’s done anything wrong… but I shouldn’t. I just…”

 

“I know.” I responded after a moment and he looked up, giving me a somewhat sad smile that I returned. “I’m so sorry that you’re going through this - but Phil - I’m so happy to see you standing up for yourself and doing what’s right for  _ you. _ ”

 

“Well don’t get so happy yet - who knows, I still might chicken out and find a way to talk myself out of all of this.”

 

“...No… you won’t.” I spoke after a while. It wasn’t accusatory - more of a realization and he looked up as we slowly made eye contact and he took in a deep breath before smiling a little bit. 

 

“Yeah… no… this time I think I won’t.” He agreed and I  _ felt  _ warmth spread through my body as a shiver ran through all my limbs and my spine before my whole body relaxed, more than relieved to know that Phil was about to make huge steps towards getting himself out of this horrible relationship - that he already  _ had  _ taken huge steps.

 

We moved to new conversations after that, finishing our breakfast before laying down and turning on the office, watching it and chatting about classes and nonsense. 

 

After about an hour Phil sighed and I looked over to see him turning his phone in his hand. 

 

“Should I turn it on?” He asked eventually and I took in a deep breath, conflicted. 

 

“Um… I guess you have to eventually.” I responded. “But if you want some time to just not worry about any of this… then no.” 

 

“I think I’m going to. I might not open anything… But I’m just gonna turn it on.”

 

“Okay. Um… do you want me to come over there?” I asked, feeling strange being all the way across the room.

 

“Yeah… yeah, could you?”

 

“Of course.” I smiled before hopping off my bed and moving over to Orion’s, climbing up and sitting next to Phil, looking down as he pressed the power button and his phone turned on. 

 

It seemed to take years for it to stop loading and for his unlock screen to appear - a picture of him and Sarah that twisted my gut just a little looking at it. He quickly unlocked his phone to reveal the same picture as his home screen, but it was hidden behind apps now so it was easier to ignore. 

 

What wasn’t so easy to ignore were the 33 missed calls, 12 voicemails, and 84 texts. I looked over to see Phil - already a pale person to begin with - go paper white. 

 

“Phil…” I started, worry clearly lacing my tone.

 

“I’m alright. I’m fine.” He responded quickly. “I’m just… just gonna check the last few texts.”

 

“Okay… if you’re sure…”

 

“I am.” He spoke decidedly and I watched as he opened the messages tab. 

 

There were clearly dozens of other texts before, but the phone only showed a few at the end of their conversation when he opened his and Sarah’s messages, and I read them with my lip between my teeth. 

 

**_S: Are you cheating on me?! Is it with that ‘friend’ of yours? Dan? Or Orion or whoever? I swear to god, Phil, after everything I’ve done for you, if you’re cheating on me…_ **

 

**_S: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything, Phil, I love you. Why aren’t you answering? <3 I miss you <3_ **

 

**_S: Phil we’re better together. We make each other better. Why would you ignore someone who’s helped make you who you are now?_ **

 

**_S: Just got off the train. I hope there’s a good explanation for what’s going on right now._ **

 

At the last text, sent sixteen minutes ago, I swallowed over the lump that rose in my throat and looked over to Phil with wide eyes. He was staring down at his phone with a panicked expression, his hands beginning to shake. 

 

“Phil. Phil, are you okay?”

 

“I… Dan I can’t… what’ll I do… we have to go. I can’t see her right now. We have to leave.”

 

“Phil wait-” I began as he jumped off the bed and grabbed the few things he’d brought over hurriedly. 

 

“We have two more days on the long weekend. We can go. We can… uh… go to your house?”

 

“Phil…”

 

“Dan please! I can’t see her right now and I can’t exactly go to  _ my  _ home!” 

 

“I… okay.” I sighed and for a moment his expression softened, smiling a little under the panic and sadness in his eyes. 

 

“Thank you.” He almost whispered before taking a deep breath and going into full ‘shove-it-all-into-your-backpack-for-a-speedy-escape mode’. 

 

I began doing the same, putting my laptop and chargers in a backpack along with some clothes. It didn’t take us long to have the essentials and we checked for keys one more time before I opened the door to lead us out of the building. 

 

Quickly I turned and shoved us back into the room, Phil confused as I shut the door behind us, eyes wide. 

 

“What?” He asked, and I gulped. 

 

“Sarah. She’s outside your door.” I whispered, and Phil’s expression filled with fear. 

 

We sat there in terrified silence for one, two, three seconds before it came. 

 

A sharp, angry knock that sent shivers down my spine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this story and please let me know all your thoughts :D :D :D


	21. Chapter 21

“Get back inside.” I whispered back to Phil who looked at me, eyes wide in fear. 

 

“What?” 

 

“Get back inside.” I repeated and he nodded, retreating deeper back into the main part of the room. I took a deep breath and composed myself before opening the door just a crack and peering through to see an angry brunette looking up at me. 

 

“Phil’s not answering his door. Is he in there?” She asked and I clenched my jaw, trying to figure out the best way to handle this. 

 

“Yeah.” I decided finally, shrugging.

 

“Why’s he here? I thought I told him to stop…” Sarah trailed off, face reddening before she huffed out a breath. “Anyways. Can you tell him to get his ass out here so we can talk? He’s been ignoring me and-”

 

“No.” I responded, cutting her off. Her eyes widened and she actually fell back a step, clearly shocked at my blatant refusal.

 

“Excuse me?” She asked, anger seeping into her tone. 

 

“I said I’m not gonna tell him to talk to you. And I’m not going to let you into my room. If Phil wants to talk to you he can decide that on his own, but it seems to me like right now he’s made it pretty clear that he  _ doesn’t  _ want to talk to you.”

 

“Are you seriously telling me right now that I can’t see my  _ boyfriend? _ ”

 

“No.” I responded simply. “I’m telling you that I’ll tell Phil you’re here and  _ if  _ he wants to talk to you, that can be his decision.”

 

“But-”

 

“I’m sorry Sarah, but I believe that it’s a fairly basic right to get to decide when you do and do not want to talk to someone. I’m not going to try and force my friend to do anything.” I spoke in an overly professional voice that I knew would drive her mad, but there was no way she could argue with my logic. It was sound. 

 

“I…. fine. Tell him I’ll be at the coffee shop down the block and he’d  _ better _ come meet me there.”

 

“Goodbye Sarah.” I responded, and before she could say anything else I shut the door and locked it, letting out a long breath and turning around, feeling my shoulders slump in exhaustion. I let myself relax for a moment, looking at the ground, and then raised my head. I looked up to see Phil standing beside one of the beds, hands over his mouth, eyes wide. He seemed frozen and concern shot through me as I moved quickly in front of him, raising my hands to gently cup his arms. 

 

“Phil. Phil - are you okay?” I asked. He gulped and then slowly nodded, seeming to shake off a bit of the shock that had been keeping him held still. He shifted to sit on the edge of Orion’s bed and I took a step closer to him, trying to search his face for any clue on how he was feeling right now. 

 

“Dan… you….” He started and nervousness began bubbling in the pit of my stomach. 

 

“Did I go too far? Should I have been nicer to her? Phil I’m sorry I should have let you speak for yourself-”

 

“No.” Phil interrupted, looking up at me, his expression softening a bit. “No - it wasn’t any of that. You - you were amazing. Thank you.”

 

“Oh.” I breathed out in relief. “You’re welcome.”

 

“Dan…” Phil whispered and I furrowed my eyebrows together, worried for my friend. “I… what do I do?”

 

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Phil. If you don’t want to talk to her, then don’t.”

 

“I… I don’t think I can just cut her out. No matter what she’s done, I don’t think I could ever not feel guilty for that…”

 

“Okay… well do you want backup? I can come with you if you want to go talk to her at the coffee shop.”

 

“I… yeah, maybe. I just… Dan, what do I say to her?”

 

“I mean… what do you want to get out of it? Do you want to break up with her? Do you want to stop talking to her?”

 

“Yes.” He answered immediately before his eyes went wide and his hands flew up to cover his mouth. “Oh my god.” He spoke through his fingers, voice high with surprise. “Oh my god I want to break up with her. I… wow.” Phil murmured, slowly lowering his hands and I looked at him with raised eyebrows, trying to gauge how he was doing. 

 

“Phil… are you okay?” I asked and he looked over at me and paused for a moment, just meeting my gaze.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.” He responded finally, a small smile finding his lips. “Let’s go to the coffee shop.”

 

“Okay.” I agreed, and I couldn’t help but smile too as I grabbed my keys and we left my room, walking down the hall. 

 

The walk was mostly silent, with Phil now and again voicing small concerns and me reminding him that I’d be there the whole time and that he owed Sarah  _ nothing.  _ He was clearly nervous but when we reached the door he had a determined set to his jaw and he took a deep breath before opening it, and I followed him through. 

 

We walked in and I saw Sarah immediately, tapping her foot at a corner table. She looked up when we rounded the corner fully into the shop and her eyebrows raised in a challenge when she saw Phil, but immediately lowered into an enraged scowl when she noticed me walking up from behind to walk beside him. 

 

“What is  _ he _ doing here?” She asked in a chilled voice, addressing Phil alone when we reached the table. 

 

“He’s my friend and he’s here to make sure I don’t end up giving in and not asking for what  _ I  _ want.” Phil said in a rush, cheeks red. He was visibly shivering and I wanted to do something to help, but I knew that right now all I could do was stand here and support him. 

 

“And what’s that, Phil?” She asked slowly, jaw set. “Why have you been ignoring me?”

 

“Sarah…” Phil started, taking a deep breath. “Iwanttobreakup.” He mumbled quickly, clenching his fists, and I watched as her face flushed and she got to her feet, body rigid with anger. 

 

“ _ Excuse  _ me?”

 

“I said I want to break-”

 

“I heard you.” Her voice was quiet and deadly and it even made me shudder. “Phil… I think we need to sit down and talk about this… alone.” 

 

“No.” Phil responded immediately and I let out a small breath of relief. “No. I’ve made my decision and you’re not talking me out of it. Whatever you have to say to me you can say in front of Dan.”

 

“So what?” She asked, and now she was shaking, and I could see the strain behind her eyes as she tried to keep a smiley, calm demeanor, but a vein was popping out making a line from between her eyebrows up to her hairline, giving her away. “You’re just gonna leave me - the girl who’s loved you - who’s helped you - who’s supported you for  _ two years.  _ You’re gonna leave me for  _ him?” _

 

“What?” Phil asked in confusion and my brow furrowed as she laughed sickly, and all I could think was that this girl was  _ venomous. _

 

“Fine, Phil… If you’re so sure I can say whatever I want to you in front of him… well then, you can’t expect me to believe with our particular history that he has nothing to do with you wanting to leave me… Or have you not told him about that?”

 

“Sarah…” Phil spoke, and I could hear the hurt in his tone and I knew that whatever she was about to tell me about him, I didn’t want to hear it - it was obviously a private matter I had no business knowing.

 

“So, Dan, Phil hasn’t told you about his little crisis a few years back? The one I helped him through?” She shifted from addressing me back to Phil, sneering at him. “The entire  _ reason  _ I’ve been telling you to stop hanging out with him. And you didn’t listen to me! I’m just trying to help you, Phil, but now look and see what you’ve done? Exactly what I predicted.  _ You’re  _ the one who said you couldn’t like boys.  _ You’re  _ the one who wanted my help.”

 

“I should-” I started, feeling entirely intrusive, backing up slowly to give them some space. 

 

“No.” Phil interrupted, grabbing my arm. “Please. Let’s just go.” He spoke and I nodded, turning to leave with him. 

 

“You know it’s all finally coming true, right? I could have helped you! I could have kept this from happening!” Sarah called after us, and I picked up the pace, wanting to get Phil out of there as soon as possible. “But you’re just as much of a faggot as you were afraid of! And now who’s there to help you? No one!” 

 

Sarah’s words sent shivers down my spine and I tried to ignore the fury that began to bubble within me as I practically dragged Phil away from that snake of a woman and out into the fresh air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think happened between Sarah and Phil? What do you think he feels towards Dan? How do you think this is all going to resolve? :D tell me your thoughts below please and thank you so so much for reading <3


	22. Chapter 22

I could sense how stiff Phil was beside me and I tried not to think about what Sarah had said as we finally left the building and sped-walked a few blocks away in silence until we found a bench and Phil collapsed into it, burying his head in his arms and knees, curling into a ball. 

 

“Phil-” I started, sitting beside him and gently brushing his back. He leaned into me, his body beginning to shake as he started to cry and I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him close. “It’s gonna be okay.” I whispered and he shook his head into my chest, clutching onto my shirt. 

 

“No… no, it’s not.” He gasped and I turned, pushing him back gently to look at him, waiting until he made eye contact with me to speak. 

 

“Phil. It  _ is  _ going to be okay. She can’t hurt you anymore. You were so strong, Phil, you did so well.”

 

“But she said-”

 

“I don’t care. Whatever happened in the past, it’s no business of mine. She had no right to share any secrets of yours.”

 

“Dan…” Phil started, lifting his arm to wipe his tears. “I… I need to explain.”

 

“No.” I spoke gently, giving him a small and bittersweet smile. “No, you don’t. Right now you need to rest. Let’s get you back and make some food. Right now let’s just try and relax.”

 

“Okay…” He agreed finally, giving what I’m sure was his best attempt at a grateful smile. “But soon… I should explain.”

 

“There’s nothing you  _ should _ do. You owe me nothing more than you owe her. Or anyone else. But… if you really do want to tell me about something, you know I’m always here.”

 

“Thank you.” Phil smiled, wiping his eyes again. “Yeah uh… let’s go back.”

 

“Okay.” I agreed, standing and helping him to his feet as we walked slowly back in silence, but I made sure to walk close enough that he knew I was right there, hoping my presence was at least somewhat comforting. 

 

It’d been messy but it could have been worlds worse. We made our way back to my dorm room and Phil’s arms were wrapped around himself as he shivered. I got a blanket and wrapped him up in it, bringing him to my bed and surrounding him with pillows before leaving for a moment and returning with hot tea, getting up onto the bed next to him and sitting in silence, sipping tea slowly. 

 

“Are you okay?” I finally asked. Phil was just staring at his thumb as it slowly dragged back and forth on the rim of his mug. 

 

“I… I don’t know.” He replied and I nodded.

 

“That’s okay. What do you need right now? Do you want to talk about it? Do you want to do something to get your mind off things?” I asked and Phil took a deep breath, looking over to me with a pained expression. 

 

“Dan I’m not gay.”

 

“Um… okay?” I responded, surprised by the sudden announcement. 

 

“I just… because of what Sarah said. I thought you might think - I’m not.” 

 

“I wouldn’t listen to a word that that girl said about you. If you have anything you’d ever like to share that’s up to  _ you _ , not for her to try and forceably expose about you.”

 

“I… yeah, thanks.” Phil gave a small smile, but there was still conflict behind his eyes. “I just - when our relationship started… It started as a friendship. I was young and I was a little… confused, I guess. I was scared about even just the possibility of what being attracted to a guy could mean - the people surrounding me certainly weren’t as accepting as people are here. I didn’t even have a full crush, there was just this guy who always hit on me and kept telling me I was kidding myself if I thought I was straight, and it threw me into a tailspin. One night I told her everything and cried and she was there for me - at first she was such a good and supportive friend, I truly thought she was just looking out for me. She uh - she offered to pretend to be my girlfriend to get the guy off my back. She also said that if we ‘played pretend’ at a relationship then maybe I could confirm for myself that I liked girls. I agreed - stupidly - and we never really talked about how it changed from being pretend to real. I didn’t really intend for it to, but suddenly she was always all over me and we were doing the things we’d started only doing in public in private too, and then she was talking about futures and marriage and children… and I guess it just sorta happened. At first it was weird but I grew to love her… and depend on her… and… wow it’s just all so messed up when I look back on it.” Phil mumbled and somewhere along the line of his story breathing had become strangely hard and I found myself concentrating more than I should have on simply breathing like a normal person as Phil set his mug down and rubbed his hands up and down his face, groaning. 

 

When his phone buzzed he picked it up to check what the notification was, then threw it back down on the bed, laughing sickly. I raised an eyebrow and he nodded at it, permitting me to look. I opened it up and clicked a button so the screen lit up, showing a new text from Sarah. It was just a few words, and honestly it kind of made me laugh too just at how ridiculous it was.

 

**_S: Also, your new hair looks like shit. Sorry I forgot to tell you that in person._ **

 

“You’ve gotta block that girl.” I mentioned after a chuckle and Phil’s eyes went wide before his jaw set and he took his phone from me, opening it up and clicking a few buttons before throwing it back down on my duvet. 

 

“Done.” He stated with a sense of finality, and I didn’t even make the decision to, suddenly I was just leaning forward and pulling him into a hug. 

 

“I’m so freaking proud of you.” I whispered, squeezing him before releasing and sitting back, smiling.

 

“Honestly? I kind of am too.” He admitted with a small smile. “I’m also incredibly exhausted. I know it’s still morning, but would it be a crime for me to take a nap?”

 

“Not at all!” I insisted, and soon he was set back up in Orion’s bed, breathing slowly. I smiled over at him before pulling my phone out, opening up my messages with Orion.

 

**_D: so youll never guess what happened today :D_ **

 

**_O: ??? :)_ **

 

**_D: he did it. he broke up with sarah!_ **

 

**_O: REALLY? :D :D :D THAT’S INCREDIBLE!!! Okay but is he doing okay now?_ **

 

**_D: its certainly been a big day. she came down here and everything and was kind of horrible. he told me some more about their relationship and… suffice it to say im really glad hes out of that finally. but i think now hes mostly just exhausted - hes taking a nap rn._ **

 

**_O: That’s good :) How are you doing? <3_ **

 

**_D: im alright. its definitely been a hectic day or so, but im really proud of phil. i miss you like crazy though <3_ **

 

**_O: I miss you more <3_ **

 

**_D: you’re coming back tomorrow?_ **

 

**_O: Day after tomorrow :\ family wanted me to stay another day and I dont have any classes until the afternoon so I’m coming back early morning._ **

 

**_D: but i missss youuuuuu <3_ **

 

**_D: thats alright though, ill have plenty of you when you get back ;) <3 hows it been being back? :) _ **

 

**_O: Good mostly. It’s nice to see family :) And I’ve seen a few old friends. I actually wanted to ask you something._ **

 

**_D: shoot :)_ **

 

**_O: Liam texted me today to see if we could hang out tomorrow. I haven’t responded yet because… idk. I mean I love you and obviously nothing would happen, but I also know we got together soon after Liam and I split and I didn’t want to agree to anything before checking with you to make sure you’d be comfortable._ **

 

**_D: omg go for it <3 he was a big part of your life and it got left on a kinda weird unfinished note. maybe itll help to catch up and get some closure <3 i trust you :)_ **

 

**_O: I love you, Howell <3_ **

 

**_D: ily more <3 <3 <3_ **

 

**_O: Tell Phil I say hi, alright? :) And tell him that if he ever needs someone to hunt a bitch down and make sure she never hurts him again… he knows who to call :D_ **

 

**_D: lol will do :) because you could totally hurt a fly_ **

 

**_O: Hey I may not be a violent guy, but I’m a loyal friend. I’ll…. Idk. Draw horrible pictures of her until she goes insane?_ **

 

**_D: god youre adorable <3_ **

 

**_O: Hush <3 I think you’re thinking of yourself <3 Okay I’ve gotta go, family’s going out to get sushi for lunch. _ **

 

**_D: im jealous. eat a rainbow roll for me?_ **

 

**_O: I think the gay community would come for me if I didn’t rep ;)_ **

 

**_D: omg you dork <3 love you <3 have fun :)_ **

 

**_O: xxxxxxx <3 <3 <3_ **

  
I set my phone down with a smile and laid back against my mattress, setting my phone aside. I closed my eyes and decided, what the hell? Phil was napping, I had nothing better to do, and I  _ was  _ kinda exhausted from the events of the past day or so. I took deep breaths as I allowed myself to sink into sleep, where I dreamed that Phil and I climbed a mountain and at the top we looked down to see Sarah, but she was just the size of an ant, and we did that thing where you pinch your fingers and look through one eye and it looks like you’re squishing a bug. It was a very satisfying dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Sarah and Phil's past? Also I wanna take a poll because I'm just curious:
> 
> Who here trusts Orion? Bc people have been commenting a lot that they don't and I'm curious about the people who don't generally comment - I'd be so grateful if you don't generally comment if you'd just throw in even just a 'trust' or 'distrust'. I'm curious :D
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I'm having a blast writing this fic :D


	23. Chapter 23

Phil and I woke around midday and the day passed slowly, remaining indoors and ordering food, watching shows all day and just trying not to think about everything that’d happened. 

 

Phil was quiet and I didn’t force conversation, but at the end of the day as we brushed teeth he pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back, feeling his arms tighten around me. 

 

“Thank you. For everything, Dan.” He whispered, voice wet with tears and I just squeezed him back.

 

“Of course, Phil. You know I’m always here for you.” 

 

We stayed there for a few moments before he pulled back with a watery smile, wiping the tears from his eyes. 

 

We returned to the room and crawled into respective beds, and I was out like a light. 

 

The next day passed similarly, and around mid-afternoon Phil could be found gently snoring into Orion’s pillow as my phone lit up with a new text.

 

**_O: Hey love <3_ **

 

**_D: :) hey <3_ **

**_  
_ ** **_O: Just got back from lunch with Liam._ **

 

**_D: howd it go? :D_ **

 

**_O: Eh… not great. It started off nice. We were just catching up, but then he started reminiscing and after a while it was feeling like a little… idk. He was really trying to get me to reminisce about our relationship and it just felt a little off, but he wouldn’t really let me steer the conversation away. When we left he tried to hold my hand and I kinda snapped at him. I feel bad but also not really. Mostly I just want to see you <3 I miss you <3_ **

 

**_D: oh :( im sorry <3 thank you for telling me. im really sorry it went like that, i know you were wanting to reconnect :\_ **

 

**_O: Yeah but oh well. If he can’t respect who I’m with now, then I’m not gonna associate with him. He even went so far as to… idk. He questioned how quickly we got together - he did it in a joking way, but I could tell there was some judgement there and it made me really angry :(_ **

 

**_D: i mean we did get together pretty quick… but yeah :(_ **

 

**_O: Yeah but he was talking about it like the fact that we got together fast means our relationship isn’t as… valid? Or that it makes it worth less? Idk he was just being super judgey and it felt kinda like he was trying to manipulate me into wanting him again and discrediting you :( I guess I got kinda mama bear protective._ **

 

**_D: thats cute <3 :) really though - im really sorry that it went like that :( _ **

 

**_O: That’s okay <3 thank you <3 I just can’t wait to come back and see you tomorrow <3_ **

 

**_D: i cant wait either :)_ **

 

**_O: How’s Phil doing?_ **

 

**_D: hes alright. weve spent the past day or so literally just sitting in bed doing nothing but tbh its a kinda nice break and i think its what he needs. hes cried a few times but i think hes doing okay._ **

 

**_O: That’s great to hear :) I was thinking that maybe if he needs it, we could offer for him to keep staying in our room since we generally share a bed each night anyways - in case he doesn’t want to be alone._ **

 

**_D: that sounds like a great idea actually. im so glad i have such a selfless, loving, caring, beautiful, wonderful boyfriend <3_ **

 

**_O: You took the words right out of my mouth <3_ **

 

**_D: oh hey… i think hes having a nightmare :( im gonna go. ill see you tomorrow? <3_ **

 

**_O: I’ll text when I’m getting close <3 ily <3_ **

 

**_D: love you too <3_ **

 

I set my phone down, slipping off my bed and walking gently over to where Phil had started tossing in his sleep, sniffling a little as tears began to drip slowly down his cheeks. 

 

“Phil…” I whispered gently, my hand coming up to cup his arm, an effort to tether him to reality. “Phil… shhh… it’s okay, it’s just a dream.” 

 

His eyes blinked open suddenly, lips parting in surprise, and he just stared at me for a few moments before bursting into heavy, violent sobs, shooting up into a sitting position as he wrapped his arms quickly around my neck and buried his face into my chest. 

 

I hugged him in return, rubbing his back with one hand as I stood at the edge of the bed. 

 

“It - it - it was a - awful.” He hiccupped, one hand coming down to fist in my shirt by my shoulder, body shaking. “Da - Dan, you - you were so a- angry.” He gasped and I slid onto the bed beside him in order to pull him closer.

 

“Shhhhh, shhhh, I’m not angry. Everything’s okay, I’m not angry with you.” I reassured and he nodded into my chest, gasping for air. “You’re safe. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere, okay? Breathe - you’re safe.”

 

Phil nodded violently into my shoulder before taking in long, shuddering, choppy breaths and letting them go in whooshes from his lungs. It took him several minutes but finally he did seem to begin calming down, breaths becoming more even and sobs dying down to sniffles. 

 

“I just… I keep  _ realizing _ these things…” Phil whispered, voice hoarse. “Things that she did - or said… and at the time I really thought she was just trying to help me. That she loved me. But I just remember these things and I don’t know how I didn’t realize sooner…”

 

“Phil she’s gone now. You never have to see her again. I know it’s easier said than done, but… Phil, she needs to stop holding power over you. She’s out of the picture now, so all you have to do is stop giving her power in the way you think of her. It’ll take time, I know, but it’s important.”

 

“I know… I know, it just makes me so upset…”

 

“I know.” I whispered, hugging him tight before pulling back, holding him at arm’s reach to look in his eyes and assess how he was doing. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah… yeah, I think so. Thanks.” He smiled as best he could, wiping away his tears. 

 

“I like your hair this color.” I smiled, reaching up to brush some off his forehead. “It suits you.”

 

“Thanks.” He smiled, sniffling once more and looking down at the duvet. “I do too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you all think of what happened with Orion and Liam? What do you think of what's going on with Phil? Do you trust people? Do you distrust people? Who? :D Tell me all your thoughts, I'm thirsty for comments xD


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